The Ziebura Biographies

[selenak]

Eva Ziebura wrote several Hohenzollern biographies which have proved to be fantastic sources. In this post, I’m collecting my quotes and summarizing of her biography on August Wilhelm (second son of FW, Crown Prince during Fritz‘ reign until his untimely death), her biography of Heinrich (third son, life long alter ego, key hater and key supporter of his brother in one) and one of the three unwanted wives of Fritz, August Wilhelm (AW) and Heinrich.



August Wilhelm, Prinz von Preußen (2006)

Wilhelm or Guillaume was the name he actually used, with his younger brothers calling him Guille, does its source notes and tells its tragic story well. As Ziebura details, the reason why FW prefered this kid was a chicken/egg thing going beyond "that one thinks soldiers are cool" - because young Wilhelm was a loved child, he wasn't afraid of his father and very affectionate towards him, because he never had to hide what he thought, he was honest (whereas FW was convinced Fritz and Wilhelmine were lying to him all the time, which of course they did because they were terrified), because he was the golden child, he was generous and kind towards all his siblings and eager to help them whenever they asked, which in turn made him popular with the rest of the family as well. And Heinrich, who shared rooms with AW from the time he was four, really loved him above and beyond, same intensity as the Fritz/Wilhelmine relationship. You can see where all this is going.
The source Ziebura quotes re: the "little Wilhelm asks for mercy" story is Freilinghausen, who was a preacher from Halle whom FW had preach in Wusterhausen, his country mansion, and who noted down the following:

"The prince had been told by his mother the previous day how and for what he should plead, but Wilhelm was afraid his father would be angry. Seckendorff and Grumbkow, too, had talked to him and told him they would ease his path to the King, by saying something like "I believe your son carries something within his heart, Sire..." But only when the mother threatened him with the rod if he didn't say anything, he asked (SD's chief lady in waiting) von Kameken what "hanging" meant, if people got hurt by it, and of one died from it - and then he went to his father."

Whereupon this scene happened.

The prince began by kissing his father's hands and to stroke his cheeks. Rex asked: "You want something, don't you?" Wilhelm: "Yes, Papa." Rex: "What is it?" Wilhelm: "Please don't hang the long fellow who ran away." The King smiled but did not yet give a positive answer. The Queen signalled that the intercession found her favour. Grumpkow and Seckendorff, too, aided the little Prince. Whereupon Rex started to kiss the Prince and hold him in his arms. Now the Queen signalled (Freilinghausen) silently, he, too, was supposed to say something. (Freilinghausen) admonished mercy and said that one had to be harsh if murder had been committed, but in this case surely mercy sould take preference over the letter of the law. The King agreed, and so did the generals present.

Now obviously, saving a human life - especially of a poor guy who just was kidnapped for his body length - is a good thing, but it's still a bit chilling to read all the adults present using this kid.
Our author is unabashedly biased for her subject but trying to check it as in the question how far or little Fritz' behavior towards AW - when he basically wooed this younger brother with letters, even once wrote him a poem of praise - during the ten years between 1730 and 1740 was utterly calculating or not. It is, she admits, almost impossible not to read it with hindsight, but it's entirely possible Fritz was just as much motivated by affective needs - missing Wilhelmine and wanting to have an ally among the remaining in Berln siblings again - and survival technique (an ally who can report on their father's moods and within limits affect them); Zuibura does devote a powerful chapter on just how much Fritz was abused to demonstrate where he came from. Maybe he also was sincere in offering his older brother guidance re: education, not least because AW did need it; FW, who'd been delighted this second son prefered the toy soldiers to the books, had allowed his teacher to give him a great leash when it came to history, geography, writing etc, with the result that AW was on a level with the younger Heinrich (who was more like Fritz and Wilhelmine as a passionate learner). The poem of praise is also a gentle instruction on why books are cool and teen AW should read more of them on his own.

Young AW responded eagerly (and on that occasion btw tried to write a poem of his own to his older brother back).
When brother Fritz sends him loving big brother letters from Neuruppin and Rheinsberg and asks him "to tell me bluntly whether or not the King has talked about me; even with a clear conscience I find myself somewhat concerned in this matter", AW is also delivering as requested:

As you want to know all what the King has been saying about you, so I allow myself to write to you that he has said this noon that he's building a lot of beautiful houses in Berlin; for he knew very well that after his death, my dear brother would have comedies and parties, mistresses and balls; that it would be a pleasure to my brother to waste all the money he had been saved with such hardships; but by now he did not care anymore. Secondly, he said he didn't like fops despite having one in the family. He knew very well which one, but that one was too old to be improved.
You will be surprised, dear brother, that I find the time to write, but I am not in good grace myself right now, and thus have not been taken along on the hunt. I have not done anything wrong! It is only that I did not know the name of a village. But it is alright, as long as he doesn't punish me harder, the way he does a hundred others. Now I am afraid I am boring you, and thus I conclude with the assurance that I will never forget the good advice of a brother whose affection I hope to deserve in the future.

Ziebura quotes a German (rhymed) translation of the praise-and-instruction poem Fritz wrote to AW, which ends with, after wishing glorious deeds (and more voluntarily read books) to young Wilhelm:

"While I am happy to observe
your victories, your joy, your nerve,
and shall content myself with philosophy
Your education as my only trophy"

(English rhymed translation of German rhymed translation by yours truly. It's not Schlegel and doesn't properly scan, but then neither is the Fritzian original.)

To which Whilhelm replies:

"For the epistle which you've sent
And all the praise that you did spent,
Receive much thanks! To me you wish much wisdom
With which, dear brother, you've always endowed been.
To all of us it would be good to heed,
to follow where your mind us wants to lead.
Then I'd be saved from clumsy ignorance,
through you, most noble brother - what a chance!
You are in everything a perfect man,
in body and in mind: salute I can!"

The tragic irony is that AW did learn more, improved his French, geography, maths etc to please his brother. Unfortunately, all of this meant he really had no idea and post 1740 Fritz caught him entirely unawares. (BTW, the turnaround didn't happen immediately after ascension; for example, Fritz took AW with him and Algarotti when making that trip across the French border via Bayreuth, which is why we know - from AW's letters - one detail Fritz left out in his description to Voltaire about said trip, i.e. after his incognito was blown by a Prussian deserter, the lot of them ignominously spent the rest of the night under arrest (passport forgery!) until the local commandant cleared things up and send them back. (Young AW still thought this was a jolly adventure, though, and that his older brother was the coolest at this point.)

Flash forward to 1749, Fritz has a big argument with Heinrich (which precedes him forcing Heinrich to marry) warming up his FW roleplay, AW tries his old role as family mediator, and:

F: You believe blindly anything (Heinrich) says. (...) Heinrich is your idol, your blind friendship doesn't let you recognize his mistakes. I love him as a brother but would regret it if he doesn't improve in the various aspects I told him. I am not acting out of a whim or to boast. Only his sloppy behaviour is at fault.

AW: I am sad to learn of the unfortunate idea you have of your brothers. The picture of Heinrich you paint, I don't recognize. You ascribe a character to him which I haven't notice, and you consider me so clueless that you believe I am dazzled and fooled by him.

(Can we say "Projecting into Heinrich much, Fritz?")

re: AW's sexuality, Ziebura doesn't mention any m/m affairs for him, as opposed to his brothers, while he had a lot of documented affairs with women. But she certainly describes him as, shall we say, an ally. Because, you see, with his usual talent of picking teachers for his kids who were supposed to do one thing and who did then just the opposite when his back was turned, FW hired a steward for teenage AW and his kid brothers Heinrich and Ferdinand who was supposed to ensure their utter chastity, one Lt. von Kreyzen. Writes FW, in a letter still preserved:

To that end, he must never let Prince Wilhelm sleep alone at night, he shall sleep in the same room as the prince, always, and he must see and be responsible for the Prince Wilhelm not to go to whores, fornicate, or commit silent sins. (...) If he visits places with the prince, he is never to leave him alone. The prince is to talk to everyone but never to have any sinful discourses.

I take it "silent sins" means masturbation. Now, you probably guessed where this is going: Kreyzen turns out to be gay. Very gay. As for sinful discourses, here's AW some years later, writing to brother Ferdinand who at that point is the sole one left in von Kreyzen's charge, inviting the both of them to visit him, AW, at the military revue in Spandau, and adding as a postscript/inducement to Kreyzen: "I'm holding a beautiful ass and fleshy tighs ready for him." And at another opportunity, writing to Kreyzen directly: "My prettiest fellows expect your thick priapus full of impatience."

Starting with the first Silesian War, Wilhelm has a wake up call in that him being the new crown prince does not mean Fritz is going to share foreign policy or any other plans with him - not then, not ever. And once Fritz is back, the bossing around starts in earnest. While AW does have the (het) sex life with mistresses Fritz scorns in princes anyway, he's by no means without the thing FW successfully drummed into all his children - the sense of duty and serving as the main purpose of a Prussian royal. He writes lengthy memoranda about improvements he'd make if he was King, for example. (Trivia: these, btw, include giving the Queen a larger budget than the Queen Mother - Fritz did the reverse - though AW was at best indifferent to his wife as well. But he did think the reigning Queen deserved to have the bigger household. Given an early anecdote is how SD threatened to have little AW whipped by rod if he didn't ask his father for a deserter's life - one of the long fellows who'd run away - , which he then successfully did, I'd venture Wilhelm might also have been less of a fan of his mother.) He also indulged in a one year long strategy game with Heinrich between the Silesian Wars and the 7 Years War. They correctly assumed yet another war would happen, though along with Fritz and most others, they did NOT see the Austria/France alliance coming, so their imaginary war was between a Prussia allied to France and an Austria allied to England. Also tellingly, Heinrich roleplayed Fritz while AW took the role of Field Marshal Gessler in this scenario. ("Le Marechal Gessler" was also much later a pseudonym Heinrich chose for a few Fritz critiques.) They did correctly predict - or Heinrich-playing-Fritz did - that he'd kick things off by invading Saxony.
They finished it before the Diplomatic Revolution (i.e. the new alliance between France and Austria). But yes, Prussia wins. Heinrich-as-Fritz first defeats Hannover - the brothers assume that the English Parliament wouldn't be willing to okay British troops to save Hannover, since they felt their royals were too much involved with Hannover anyway - and then fights the Austrians to a standstill.

It does have all the signs of a modern RPG, for, to quote from the biography:

While Heinrich, playing the King, laid out the political-strategic plan and also wrote diplomatic notes, dispatches from ambassadors and memoranda, it was Gessler's, that it is Wilhelm's job to work out the practical side of the enterprise. He sent the King his dispositions for the occupation and defense of Hildesheim, made sketches of the Hildesheim, Misburg and Hannover fortresses indicating siege and weopon positions. He also organized supply lines and the disposition of the field ambulance units. He drew large maps for the battle plans.

How do we know all this? Because our two princes had the whole thing assembled and privately printed once they were done. It's not known whether Fritz ever got a copy.
As for AW, it's worth noting that as opposed to his youthful reaction to Fritz invading Silesia, which was basically "You're the coolest, Big Brother! But why didn't you tell me anything! Can I come, too! Wow, just wow!", he in the 1750s had a far darker view of war in general. In 1753, he wrote to the French Ambassador from Spandau:

"I'm getting up at four and am shooting at sparrows until seven. If one looks at this from a philosophical point of view, it sounds ridiculous, but if one considers that it's practice for the annihilation of human life, one wonders: where in this is our humanity? By now, it has become such a well practiced habit in the world to murder each other that the passing of time allows a crime which can't be justified through anything. The defense of our fatherland, the support of our allies can force us to see this with different eyes. That's why we go through the motions here. Add to this a pinch of vanity, and you are getting the picture."

(The French ambassador in question was that same Marquis de Valori who once quipped about Fritz: "Il n'est guère possible d'avoir plus d'esprit, et il est très possible d' en faire un meilleur usage.")

Ziebura is definitely of the "Fritz was scapegoating AW for mistakes that were partially his" school when it came to the big disaster, and attaches in full an assessment of von Schmettau about Wilhelm's decision to withdraw. She also quotes at length from Amalie's report on AW's death lengthy and painful death. Amalie was present through most of it, and wrote two letters, one immediately after and a longer more detailed one a few days later. Said report, in great detail, tearstained and with ink blots, is adressed to Fritz. It doesn't include a direct accusation, but Ziebura thinks the very fact she writes this detailed has a "this is your fault, now at least learn what it was like" subtext.

Heinrich, of course, did not need subtext. He also unequivably did not blame a medical reason for AW's demise. He was fine with main text, writing to brother Ferdinand (the three youngest brothers were called "the divine trio" in Berlin, I learned) on June 20th: "Since eight days, I know of the fate of our unhappy brother, and since this time, I am suffering. I am trying to have patience, but I shall never forgeet my beloved brother, or the terrible reason for his death." And in the next letterer, he's even more explicit: "Our misfortune is terrible, but I admire your attitude. You are completely right in ascribing our beloved brother's deaath to grief. (..) This misfortune hails from the one who makes his entire country miserable and drowns Europe in blood."

(Now tell us how you really feel about your older brother, Heinrich.)

Surprise factoid: the one person Fritz was able to write a non-infuriating condolence letter to was AW's neglected wife. Also, his promise in said letter to be a father to her kids does not inspire Ziebura to a sarcastic comment re: FW2 but lets her point out AW's daughter Wilhelmine the younger did say about Fritz in her memoirs "He was for me a second father, and his affectionate behavior towards me never changed".
I checked out wiki, and while English wiki is longer, German wiki has more about her relationship with Fritz. She married William V. of Orange, which makes her the ancestresss of the current Dutch royals. German wiki has this to say: She conducted a lengthy political correspondance with her uncle Frederick the Great, whose favourite niece she was supposed to be. Armed with his advice, she tried to win political influence on the rule of the Netherlands.

Fritz! Encouraging a woman to overrule her man on the throne when it suits you! I'm shocked, simply shocked. Whoever made you believe that would work?



Kein Mitleid mit den Frauen (Elisabeth Christine, Luise Amalie and Wilhelmine)

Have read this book now, which is pretty short, and pretty depressing, though not in all regards. One of the frustrating things about the three brothers is that they were capable of not being assholes to women in unwanted marriages, even of befriending them... as long as they themselves weren't married to the ladies in question.

(BTW, considering the Heinrich bio was Eva Ziebura's first book on matters Hohenzollern and this is one of her latest, with nearly fifteen years between the time of publication, it's interesting to see her getting more critical on her fave Heinrich (re: his wife only, though) while also also presenting Fritz as not quite as much of a jerk, well, other than to his wife and brothers.)

Since we have a lot repeating names (several Wilhelmines and Amalies), I've decided to come up with a nickname system to avoid confusion.

Wilhelmine - is our Margravine of Bayreuth
Mina - is Heinrich's wife, otherwise known as Princess Wilhelmine of Hessen-Kassel
Wilhelmine Minor - is AW's daughter Wilhelmine, favored niece of Fritz

Amalie - is the unmarried sister, music lover and sharp tongued mother critisizer
Louise - is Louise Amalie, AW's wife, also EC's sister

Ferdinand - youngest Hohenzollern brother
Ferd - EC's and Louise's brother, not dying in one of Fritz' battles

Elisabeth Christine can stay EC, as only her aunt, MT's mother is called the same, and that lady does not show up in this tale.

So: EC and her sister Louise, the two Braunschweig-Bevern girls, have one big disadvantage from the start when marrying into this family, well, other than their grooms not wanting them in general - they don't have the cultural education that SD provided for her daughters, and they don't have wit - or to put it French, as the brothers did - ésprit. They also either stuttered or, as Ziebura speculates based on the description, lisped, meaning people had trouble understanding them at first. And both were pretty shy when arriving in the crazy dysfunctional clan of doom. (Mina, however, will later prove that you can be beautiful, witty, well educated and a hit in society and still get your life trainwrecked by marrying a Hohenzollern.) Fritz' unflattering description of his fiancee in letters to all and sunder, not just Wilhelmine, are well known.

EC, who notices she's seen as a disappointment, knocks herself out to improve. She studies French and music. She intercedes for Fritz with her terrifying father-in-law, who likes her (modest, silent in public - just what a woman should be). She gets him money loans from brother Ferd. And for the Rheinsberg years, this all seems to pay off. They get along. He's nice, even calls her "sweet" in a letter not adressed to Dad. Then FW dies, Fritz becomes king, and immediately makes it clear how things will be from now on. That he does not want her as part of his life in any way he can possibly avoid. This, incidentally, doesn't just mean homoscial life with the boys, it includes family outings with other female Hohenzollerns present - when he's visiting SD and Amalie, either together or apart. When it's Carnival time in Berlin EC has no idea whether or not she's supposed to participate until less than a day before getting short notice that yes, she's supposed to show up at event x and reprsent with him. Otoh, when there is a big state event in Sanssouci and Fritz belatedly realises he needs some ladies present, does he ask his wife? He does not. He really does not want her there. Instead, he quickly drags his sister and a few other ladies from Berlin and has them brought back there late at night. Writes a lamenting EC to brother Ferd, when her husband and those of his siblings currently around are off to one a non-Wusterhausen Hohenzollern country residence: "They're all gone, and I'm sitting around here like a prisoner."

So she's possibly the only person who is really really happy when AW marries her sister Louise. (Since she won't be alone anymore and will have an ally at court who loves her.) That marriage had been arranged in FW's time but happened post-Fritz ascending to the throne. Like I said in an earlier post, AW was, at best, indifferent. They had sex, they had kids, but zilch interaction beyond that. Louise during AW's life time is hardly noticed by anyone, she's regarded as utterly bland and dull and just trying to please everyone as best she can. After falling in love with Sophie von Pannwitz, AW tries to get permission from his brother to divorce her, but no dice. (She is, though, the one case which actually gets a surprisingly happy ending... of sorts... later.) In the last year of his life, post disgrace, AW, proving that he's not immune from "when miserable,kick downwards" syndrome so popular in his family, and changes his will stating that his wife is to be pensioned of but the kids are to be raised by his sister-in-law. Given his wife is actually pregnant at the time of his death, this comes across as stunningly cold and cruel, so it's a lucky thing Fritz decides to ignore that part of the will, but more about this later.)

Then there's Mina. That her marriage came to be counts as one instance where Ziebura argues Fritz was actually being more a jerk than FW, because at least the enforced Fritz/EC marriage had a dynastic reason, as Fritz was the crown prince. Otoh, the only point of Heinrich's marriage was to put him through the same thing Fritz had been put through, and never mind the unlucky bride. There was zero dynastic reason - AW at that point had already sired two male Hohenzollern kids, and between his brothers and those nephews, the royal line was definitely secure.

So Mina arrives in Berlin, she's, as mentioned, beautiful, witty, charming, well educated, and as opposed to poor dull EC and Louise, she's a hit with the royal family and everyone else from the start. SD adores her (this never happened with her sisters-in-law). AW and Ferdinand both flirt intensely with her, Fritz approves of her and is complimentary in letters about her. Heinrich, at that point, is at least polite and it looks like they can have an arrangement that works. (He's also okay with his brothers flirting with her, since this provides at least the platonic romantic games he has no interest in playing.) She's nicknamed "the fairy" - "die Fee" - which in German and French, btw has no slang connotations with homosexuality. (Considering that AW beyond the courtly flirtations keeps up an intense correspondance with her - which Heinrich knows about and is asked for permission for -, they probably would have worked out splendidly as a couple, btw. When he already knew he was dying, the last time he saw her in Berlin before going to Oranienburg to die, she was joking, so he didn't have the heart to tell her how unwell he was, and pretended. And then he went to die in Oranienburg with Amalie at his side, because if there's one thing this generation of Hohenzollern were consistent about, it's that in the end, you are always closer to your siblings than to anyone else.) So do we have a tolerable marriage here with Mina the Fairy and Heinrich? We do not. Because the death of AW and the Seven-Years-War change all.

Far from grieving AW together with her, both Ferdinand and Heinrich completely alter their behaviour towards Mina. Ferdinand doesn't just stop the flirting, he stops any friendly interaction whatsoever and is completely cold. Heinrich returns form the war with PtSD, a massive chip on his shoulder, and unhealed grief. He doesn't take it out on servants (he's great to those) or subjects in general (championing anyone from occupied Saxons to soldiers without a pension is a thing), but he does take it out on his unwanted wife in incredible petty ways. He changes her staff, dismissing the people she liked and trusted with people of his choice she doesn't even know before he inflicts them on her, and bear in mind the two have separate households,so there was no reason why he should care. He keeps withholding her budget so she has to humiliate herself and ask for the money repeatedly. And then, when she's finally allowed at Rheinsberg again, you get a soap opera style intrigue because one of Heinrich's boyfriends (Kalkreuth) is about to be replaced by another (the other being Kaphengst), and not taking it well. Whereupon the about to be dumped boyfriend concludes that if he does Heinrich a favor, Heinrich won't dump him. So what does he do? Compromises Mina in public with a fake embrace/attempted kiss. There are other ladies present to testify she did not want this, but Heinrich does take the excuse to banish his wife from his presence once and all and reduce her budget some more. (The old boyfriend gets still dumped.) If anyone in Berlin receives Heinrich, his wife must never ever be there.

At the end of all this, the previously spirited, cheerful Mina is now so cowed and downbeaten that she doesn't permit herself to critisze anyone in even the slightest manner and practically asks for permission to breathe. (She'll survive Heinrich, who at least in his will leaves her a decent sum and states it their "situation" wasn't her fault, but goes blind and deaf in her old age, and will be left in Berlin once the great nieces and great nephews get out of town to escape Napoleon. That's FW3 and the famous Queen Luise, btw.)

Meanwhile, previous wallpaper Louise experiences a stunning reversal of roles. Because Fritz, possibly because this is the one person in connection with AW who didn't love AW and thus doesn't grieve for him as a person, just is impacted by his death in her role as (former) crown princess, decides to atone for his treatment of AW by being consistently kind to his widow. Also, it dawns to everyone that in this very dysfunctional clan, Louise is someone who is just... nice. She always has time for everyone. She doesn't hold a grudge. If you ask her to mediate between quarrelling family members - say, Heinrich and Amalie re: the "who was worst" argument - she will. She'll comfort you if you're in distress. The very sharp tongued Amalie when writing a "we all suck here, be warned" letter to future FW2's second wife to be, makes an exception for Louise who she says is "an angel". This combination of regard by the King and everyone liking her means Louise the widow florishes. She voices opinions in public. And lo, she has a mind of her own no one previously noticed. She plays hostess at receptions far more than her sister EC does. As mentioned, Fritz keeps that altered last will from her; on the contrary, other than unfortunate future FW2, she gets to raise her kids. Whenever she wants something, Fritz has time for her. As she doesn't respond to this by gloating but by spreading the kindness to other family members as best she can, her credit with everyone rises even more. (She also gets Fritz to be a bit nicer to EC in his old age; Lehndorff notes that unprecedented in 24 years, the King spends two hours in conversation with the Queen, alone!!!)

She still goes through heartbreak - that baby she was pregnant with when AW died, another son, doesn't surivee the year, and of course much later Henricus Minor dies. But she ends up hands down as the one of the three unwanted wives faring best in her later years.

Though EC also gets some royal regard after Fritz has died, because as it turns out, nephew FW2, in tune of doing the opposite of what his uncle did, goes out of his way to be nice to her, invites her to concerts, receptions, visits her regularly (which encourages others to visit, as this is how things go at a court), even offers her Sanssouci if she wants it. (She doesn't, as, she states, Fritz hadn't wanted her there when he was alive, she would not go against his wishes now he's dead.) EC in her old age throws herself into supporting charities and ends up at peace. Lehndorff once notes down that she loves visiting the zoo, and how strange it is that such a minor thing should give a Queen such pleasure.

And thus ends the warning tale of why you should not ever marry a Hohenzollern. At least not a male one. Sources for all this, because Ziebura is a laudable author in always providing them: Mina's diary, Louise's letters to brother Ferd, EC's letters to brother Ferd, and of course all the Hohenzollern sibling correspondence with each other.



Prince Heinrich of Prussia (1999)

Which I've finished now. Like I said, this was likely Ziebura's first outing with the Hohenzollern, not, as I originally thought when seeing her list of works, a later one; it's from 1999. It also has that first time outing "Here's why my fave is cool!" drive (whereas her later outings are more of "my problematic fave is at times problematic, but still cool" persuasion.

Bits of interest I haven't already mentioned from the other biographies and correspondances:

Heinrich was chief Prussian negotiatior in the Partitioning of Poland. He actually visited Catherine repeatedly, in St. Petersburg and elswhere, and they hit it off famously beyond negotiating; she made so much of him that people were confused because Heinrich being so obviously gay, he was the one man she showed such fondness to who never ever was suspected of having an affair with her. Heinrich was very into Catherine as well. When she died, he wore mourning for her, writing to brother Ferdinand: I am wearing (mourning) in memory of the friendship she's shown towards me, and of her genius. For losing it is a loss to the whole world. (...) She had supreme qualities. I can never forget her attention, her amiability and the power of her mind. What remains now is very small, compared to her. Of course, from a political point of view her death is a stroke of luck for us.

(In fact, in between negotiations, this had happened: Catherine to Fritz: Mind if I keep your brother as my personal satrap and make him King of Wallachia? Fritz: YES. NO HEINRICH FOR YOU.)

Other Catherine visits by Heinrich happened apropos the Swedes, as briefly mentioned at the tail of the Hohenzollern reunion saga. And you might remember she bought his paintings so he had cash to pay his boyfriend Kaphengst's debts.

Speaking of Heinrich's boyfriends, he seems to have had a thing for rough trade, with a few notable exceptions, such as the French Emigré count who was his last lover, and Mara who still fell into the charismatic money waster category most of the others did.

(Meanwhile, Lehndorff is going: "I'm right here! Would totally go for a more permanent thing! Dammit!What does he see in Kalkreuth/Kaphengst/Tauentzien/ "50 others so far" that he doesn't see in me?)


So, the 7 Years war is long over, we're in the 1770s.

Gustav (of Sweden): I'm on my Grand Tour, and have just heard my old man has kicked it. Might as well say to hi to Uncle Fritz, Most Famous Monarch Of Europe while I'm on my way back. I've got plans, people! Visiting Paris just illustrated to me how much absolute monarchy rocks.

Fritz to Heinrich: Ulrike's kid is coming. Mind dropping by? "For I believe the two of us are not too many to preach restraint to him, or at least quench his initial fire."

Heinrich: Okay. Gustav, you don't know how rare an event this is, but the two of us agree on something, and that something is that a coup d'etat in Sweden IS A REALLY BAD IDEA.

Fritz: Which I'm not willing to finance. Ever.

Gustav: Whatever. Bye, Uncles!

Ulrike: I am womanfully ignoring your dastardly letter about Henricus Minor, Fritz, if you finance a state visit for me. For some reason, newly crowned Gustav thinks he doesn't need my advice anymore and calls me "interfering" and "arrogant".

Heinrich: Come on, invite Ulrike. Who knows whether we'll ever see her again otherwise?

Fritz: Fine. Ulrike, you're invited.

Ulrike: *arrives with one of her daughters, gets state visit reception in Potsdam; her sister Charlotte comes from Braunschweig, which means all three of the surviving sisters as well as all surviving brothers are together at the same place at the same time*

Ulrike: Boys, I've just got a wonderful idea! Why don't we make a family trip to darling old Wusterhausen, where dear old Dad used to spend the summer holidays with us! I missed that place so much in Sweden, I can't tell you.

Fritz: You mean the house of horrors where I spent some of the worst times of my life, only made bearable by Wihelmine WHO IS NO LONGER THERE! Nope. Not coming.

Heinrich: Come on. "We will remember every corner where we were scolded and sometimes hit. But even the sufferings one remembers from one's childhood cause joy in one's advanced years."

Fritz: To you, maybe. NOT COMING.

Heinrich: Have it your way. Girls, Ferdinand, off we go.

Hohenzollern Sisters: Wow. That place brings memories. Dad was - well. But you know, Mom was worse.

Hohenzollern Brothers: WTF? Dad was way worse than Mom!

Family quarrel: *ensues*

(No really, they have a giant sibling face off about which of their parents was worse. In the end, Ulrike and Charlotte as well as Ferdinand give up, whereas Heinrich and Amalie still keep going, with Heinrich insisting FW was worst and Amalie insisting SD was worst until they swear never to talk to each other again.)

Fritz: Had a good time in dear old Wusterhausen, did we?

Heinrich: Shut up.

Ulrike: So, Heinrich, I'm hearing wonders about Rheinsberg. Why don't I visit your place next?

Heinrich: By all means. I have these wonderful musicians, including Mara the very hot Cellist, my current boyfriend. Party time for my royal sister! Fritz, mind if I borrow Gertrud Elisabeth Schmeling? Ulrike deserves to hear the best soprano of our time while she's visiting me.

Fritz: You know....

Heinrich: You're not getting thrifty, are you?

Fritz: Sure, you can have her.

Reinsberg visit by Ulrike with lots of Rokoko parties: *ensues*

Mara/Schmeling love affair: *ensues*

Heinrich: I'm not sure how that was a plot by Fritz, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was. Ah well. Mara was getting expensive. At least now La Schmeling can pay his bills.

Fritz: Ulrike, the six months I promised to finance your state visit for are almost over. Just saying.

Ulrike: Heinrich, you've got to help me with my kid. That was so touching, you defending Mom to Amalie. I'm just like her! There is no end to a mother's love!

Heinrich: Dear Nephew Gustav, be nice to your mother. "Forget the many little misunderstandings that have caused your quarrel. (...) The Queen loves you with all her heart. She talks of you with tears in her eyes, and since she loves you so much, her vulnerability is the greatest."

Gustav: Fine. Mom, you can come home. Incidentally - I've just successfully reintroduced absolute monarchy to Sweden. Next thing on my to do list: get an heir!

Ulrike: GUSTAV, I AM PROUD OF YOU. Okay, brothers, sisters, lovely to have seen you again. Farewell! Off I go to Sweden.

Fritz: Did our nephew just...

Heinrich: He did. Brace yourself, I'm still agreeing with you that this is not a good idea.

Fritz: In that spirit of rare fraternal unity, please go visit Catherine in St. Petersburg. Because I don't think she'll like an all powerful Swedish king next door.

Heinrich: *takes off to visit Catherine*
Heinrich had the same "German literature? No such thing!" attitude Fritz did, and since he lived a while longer, his theatre at Rheinsberg ended up as one of the few places in the German states where French plays - in French - were still produced. During his first visit to Paris, he saw the 50th performance of "Figaro's Wedding", Beaumarchais' original play, not later Mozart opera, of course, and thought it hilarious. And cahn, you'll love this - Beaumarchais told Heinrich he wanted to work together with a composer working at Joseph's court, to wit: Salieri!

In another strange moment of deja vu, this happened:

Mirabeau: comes to Prussia during Fritz' last year and stays on for another year.

Heinrich: Such a wonderful example of a witty French intellectual! Let's spend time together!

Mirabeau: *publishes trashy tell all about the Prussian court, old and new, with particular highlights being "So, the supposedly "great" Fritz was an emo weakling, his successor is a dumb playboy run by his dick, and as for Prince Heinrich, he's an incompetent old homo who can't get over himself! Let me tell you all the sex tales I've heard!"

....yeah. Fritz, in one of those moments of emotional self awareness that make him such an interesting enigma, did refer to Heinrich as "l'autre moi-meme", "my other self" on more than one occasion. (He also called him "my brother Narcissus".) This was definitely the hateship of Heinrich's life, though. And one he turned out to be addicted to, because when, after yet another of their arguments post (not much of a)War of Bavarian Succession, he managed to keep up the "not talking to you" attitude for a record one and a half years, and in theory should have been happy at Rheinsberg, with a tolerable boyfriend, country at peace and no Fritz around... he discovered he was bored to tears. And lo:

Heinrich: *starts dropping hints in letters to mutual relations and aquaintances that he's got time at his hands*

Fritz: So, Amalie may have told me you're currently somewhat idle. Want to become weekly pen pals again, with the occasional bickering visit to Potsdam?

Heinrich: YES GOD YES. You bastard.

*weekly correspondance with lengthy letters about philosophy, politics, literature and bickering*: Resumes.


He was, of course, still planning for that obelisk. The last time Heinrich saw Fritz alive was in January 1786. Upon his return, he wrote to brother Ferdinand: If you go to Potsdam next week, you can see for yourself how the old man is doing. I await with resignation the inevitable. Amalie has assured me she would like to follow him into death. I can't say the same for myself. I don't know whether we'll be bedded on roses once he's gone, but one thing I know, there will be fewer thorns than during the last 46 years.

(Amalie survived Fritz for only a year. The big Mom argument aside, she got on well with Heinrich in their younger days, who when moving into Rheinsberg had several rooms furnished as her permanent guest rooms, and kept shopping for her whenever he was somewhere interesting, whether it was Meißen - where he bought her porcellan figurines - or Paris, or St. Petersburg. Later in life, they were more distant, but still on visiting terms. She also had a better relationship with Fritz than she does in „Mein Name ist Bach“, who not only paid her debts on a regular basis but did actively seek out her company in their later years. Other than his personnel, she was one of the last people to see him alive.)

Back to Fritz' last months.

Heinrich to Ferdinand: "I know exactly that I won't be able to cry over the death of an evil man who was like the sword of Damocles over my entire life."

Fritz: *writes deeply sad letter*

Heinrich: I don't - fuck it. Want me to come to Berlin?

Fritz: Nope, not up to our usual sessions. Maybe next month. But I'm sending you some fruits, I hear you have a cold yourself.

Heinrich to Ferdinand: This is a cunning plan to keep me from feeling relieved once he kicks it. But it won't work. DAMMIT.

Fritz dies, the funeral happens, and Heinrich assumes that since he's gotten on pretty well with Son of Favourite Brother so far, he'll be asked for advice. He's even prepared several memoranda on various political aspects.

FW2: Don't get me wrong, Uncle Heinrich, I really like you. But. Ahem. I sort of want to start a new regime here.

Heinrich: With you there.

FW2: Without the most prominent reminder of the old regime I can imagine. I mean, you were his...

Heinrich: Don't say it.

FW2: Other self.

Heinrich: Fine. I'm visiting Paris again. Vive la France!

This turns out his last Paris visit, as he barely misses the storming of the Bastille when he leaves. It's still a good visit, except this happens:

Tauentzien (boyfriend du jour, son of Fritzian general of the same name): Guess what, the Comedie Francaise plays a German drama in French translation! Let's go!
Heinrich: Why would I want to watch a German drama?
Tauentzien: Come in, it'll be fun.
*German drama starring one Frederick the Great, with the actor personally coached by Tauentzien in Fritz mannerisms and voice intonation*: Ensues
Heinrich: *sits frozen in his seat for the rest of the play, but does not run out*

During Fritz' lifetime, Heinrich had advocated for easing up on the Austrians and maybe even an alliance, but that was when MT and Joseph were on the throne. Leopold ruled only two years after Joseph's death, and then his son Franz took back all reforms and became the most reactionary Emperor since a century at least. Simultanously, the French revolution happens and happens and happens. Heinrich keeps writing memoranda, though unlike his letters to Fritz, who always argued back, these get rarely replies beyond "there, there".

Heinrich: Don't join the alliance against revolutionary France, nephew. Prussia and France should ally against reactionary Austria, now they've given up on reforms altogether; we are the champions of the enlightnment! We should not fighting France, and I'm not just talking as a Francophile here!

FW2: Yeah, no. But you do do you in Rheinsberg, uncle.

Prussian forces along with other forces: keep suffering humiliating defeats against revolutionary France

Napoleon: *starts to get noticed*

Heinrich: Nephew, please read my memos for once, "he'll make our Fritz look like an amateur"!

Heinrich: *keeps getting ignored as advisor, with only literary or family matters talked about*

Heinrich by now was too old to scuttle between Rheinsberg and Berlin, and with great regret decided to to settle closer to Berlin for his main residence. (He didn't want to move permanently into town.) Now, in his last will, FW1 had specified that if Fritz died without an heir and was succeeded by AW or AW's heirs, Wusterhausen should go to Heinrich. Which meant:)

Heinrich: Dear Ferdinand, have moved into Wusterhausen after all, put up AW's portrait in the room we used to share as kids and pretend the last twelve years never happened. Have installed a guest room for you, too.

(No, really. He moved in in March 1799. I have preserved as much of the old days as I could. I believe I can forget here what happened in the last twelve years, and I don't want to think of what will happen in the fuiture. I have put up the portrait of our mother next to my bed, and the portrait of our brother Wilhelm at the opposite wall where I can see it always. I indulge in illusions about the past and push away the present. One can't burden the mind too much with matters one cannot change.)

Ferdinand: *counts* Twelve years? Counting back from March 1799? You mean, when...

Heinrich: Don't you dare.

Moving into Wusterhausen did mean he got more family visits from the younger relations and could go and visit Berlin without that much effort. Sadly, Ziebura doesn't say, or it's not known, what the Comte de La Roche-Aymon, aka Heinrich's last boyfriend, made of exchanging Rheinsberg for Wusterhausen and AW's portrait on the wall. In 1801, when he was sick enough to know he die, Heinrich returned to Rheinsberg, though. He'd methodically organized his own funeral and tomb, and unlike Fritze's, his last instructions were obeyed.