Slow run; post-run crashes
Jun. 3rd, 2026 09:28 amFor a variety of reasons, I ran my usual distance running pace today, so I did the 1.3 miles in a little under 13 minutes.
My knee twinged the whole time, but it also felt noticeably better at the end than at the beginning.
One of the reasons I ran slowly was because I had a meeting at 8 and didn't have time for a long cooldown run, so I had to not run fast enough to need a long cooldown to fend off a post-run crash.
Speaking of which, I googled post-run crashes quickly yesterday when I was writing my update, and I found "postural hypotension." Apparently your blood pools in your legs, and while your heart rate is high, that's fine because it's working hard enough to pump blood into your brain. If your heart rate drops while your blood is still pooled--boom!--dizziness and nausea, risk of fainting. That's why a cooldown run helps: it keeps your heart pumping at a rate that can get blood to your brain while your blood distribution slowly equalizes across your body.
This makes so much sense! It feels exactly like the postural hypotension I've had since about age 10. The number of times I have either fainted, greyed out and had to sit or lie down quickly, or just felt alarmingly and miserably like I was going to faint or grey out, are beyond what I can count. Dozens, and maybe hundreds. It was bad enough that I had my doctor investigate at one point. She found nothing wrong, said it was benign, and I should just be careful and avoid my triggers. Of which apparently running is one, as it is for many runners.
So I guess a good cooldown run is, in fact, the way to go, as well as maybe investigating sports drinks (and better hydration in general) for longer runs.
landofnowhere, this is presumably why you're able to end your runs at home: you're not getting your heart rate up to a point where you need an additional 15-20 minutes of gradual renormalization of blood pressure just to not pass out.
My knee twinged the whole time, but it also felt noticeably better at the end than at the beginning.
One of the reasons I ran slowly was because I had a meeting at 8 and didn't have time for a long cooldown run, so I had to not run fast enough to need a long cooldown to fend off a post-run crash.
Speaking of which, I googled post-run crashes quickly yesterday when I was writing my update, and I found "postural hypotension." Apparently your blood pools in your legs, and while your heart rate is high, that's fine because it's working hard enough to pump blood into your brain. If your heart rate drops while your blood is still pooled--boom!--dizziness and nausea, risk of fainting. That's why a cooldown run helps: it keeps your heart pumping at a rate that can get blood to your brain while your blood distribution slowly equalizes across your body.
This makes so much sense! It feels exactly like the postural hypotension I've had since about age 10. The number of times I have either fainted, greyed out and had to sit or lie down quickly, or just felt alarmingly and miserably like I was going to faint or grey out, are beyond what I can count. Dozens, and maybe hundreds. It was bad enough that I had my doctor investigate at one point. She found nothing wrong, said it was benign, and I should just be careful and avoid my triggers. Of which apparently running is one, as it is for many runners.
So I guess a good cooldown run is, in fact, the way to go, as well as maybe investigating sports drinks (and better hydration in general) for longer runs.
These muscles are tight
Jun. 2nd, 2026 08:05 pmSide note: I tried stretching my hamstring, or rather what I think might be the bottom of my gluteus maximus over the thigh, last night, and I did notice less pain this morning. It came back over the course of the day, naturally, and I have to be careful about not overdoing the stretch, because it rotates and thereby strains the injured knee. (Stretching my glutes is how my very first knee pain came about; I think that probably weakened the knees and made them injury-prone afterwards.) But it is good to know that that stretch might help. Anything that isn't "It hurts and we don't know why or how to make it stop" is good!
I'm gradually coming to the conclusion that I have two extremely tight muscles on the back of my left thigh: a tight hamstring in the center that responds to massage but hasn't fully healed, and a tight lower gluteus maximus that doesn't respond to massage but may respond to a stretch that targets that spot. Unfortunately, there are only two types of stretches for that spot: there are about 8 stretches that involve twisting the knee, and one downward dog that messes up my back (or at least I can't figure out how to do it without messing up my back). So I haven't been able to do any stretch long enough to seriously attack that spot. But even the prospect of a little, occasional pain relief is good.
I also just have more confidence now that pushing through pain isn't going to disable me. Tight muscles are the least worrisome type of injury I get. I had tight foot muscles for 10 years and once I found the right solution (sleep posture), they got better, no lingering pain.
I also wonder if the tight gluteus maximus is pulling on the end of the hamstring and making it hard for the middle part to loosen up. We'll see. I'm going to focus on stabilizing my knee, with occasional hamstring massage with the massage gun, and then see about glute stretches.
Oh, knee update: it's been mostly okay but occasionally twinging lately, and this morning it twinged (as expected after the stretching I put it through last night) at the beginning of the run, but settled down after about a quarter mile and then didn't bother me again for the rest of the run.
I'm gradually coming to the conclusion that I have two extremely tight muscles on the back of my left thigh: a tight hamstring in the center that responds to massage but hasn't fully healed, and a tight lower gluteus maximus that doesn't respond to massage but may respond to a stretch that targets that spot. Unfortunately, there are only two types of stretches for that spot: there are about 8 stretches that involve twisting the knee, and one downward dog that messes up my back (or at least I can't figure out how to do it without messing up my back). So I haven't been able to do any stretch long enough to seriously attack that spot. But even the prospect of a little, occasional pain relief is good.
I also just have more confidence now that pushing through pain isn't going to disable me. Tight muscles are the least worrisome type of injury I get. I had tight foot muscles for 10 years and once I found the right solution (sleep posture), they got better, no lingering pain.
I also wonder if the tight gluteus maximus is pulling on the end of the hamstring and making it hard for the middle part to loosen up. We'll see. I'm going to focus on stabilizing my knee, with occasional hamstring massage with the massage gun, and then see about glute stretches.
Oh, knee update: it's been mostly okay but occasionally twinging lately, and this morning it twinged (as expected after the stretching I put it through last night) at the beginning of the run, but settled down after about a quarter mile and then didn't bother me again for the rest of the run.
Running update
Jun. 2nd, 2026 07:55 pmYesterday my legs needed a rest day (variety of reasons), but today I pushed myself and did 1.3 miles at an 8 minute/mile pace. I wouldn't say I quite hit my wall, but I felt myself brushing up against it near the end.
No runner's high, which I was hoping for! I got a wonderful case of it on Sunday. Ah, well. I did feel good afterwards. (I mean, after the post-run crash, which always feels awful and forces me to do a cooldown even when that's the last thing I want.)
The interesting thing about the recent speed runs is that my legs are telling me they could definitely go faster; the bottleneck is my cardio. Which is the exact thing I'm working on and that I expect to improve in the next couple weeks. So I'm kind of interested to see what I can do re speed.
I've always considered myself a slow runner, but I've also never approached running with any kind of systematicity before the last couple years. And it's been a lot of trial-and-error.
Maybe my next trial-and-error should be daily short and fast runs to bring down my heart rate, then see if that helps with the distance running at all. I feel like it has to be something about oxygen-to-the-brain that triggers the strong desire to quit during a run, and maybe a better ratio will help at least a little bit. We'll see!
No runner's high, which I was hoping for! I got a wonderful case of it on Sunday. Ah, well. I did feel good afterwards. (I mean, after the post-run crash, which always feels awful and forces me to do a cooldown even when that's the last thing I want.)
The interesting thing about the recent speed runs is that my legs are telling me they could definitely go faster; the bottleneck is my cardio. Which is the exact thing I'm working on and that I expect to improve in the next couple weeks. So I'm kind of interested to see what I can do re speed.
I've always considered myself a slow runner, but I've also never approached running with any kind of systematicity before the last couple years. And it's been a lot of trial-and-error.
Maybe my next trial-and-error should be daily short and fast runs to bring down my heart rate, then see if that helps with the distance running at all. I feel like it has to be something about oxygen-to-the-brain that triggers the strong desire to quit during a run, and maybe a better ratio will help at least a little bit. We'll see!
Hugo short stories
Jun. 1st, 2026 12:59 pmlook at me gooooooo (I have more, but I will probably not continue to be this fast, we'll see)
- 10 Visions of the Future; or, Self-Care for the End of Days by Samantha Mills (Uncanny Magazine, Issue 63) - I mean, I thought this was nice and I don't regret reading it, but I think I like a little more plot to my stories? It's... basically what the title says.
- "In My Country" by Thomas Ha (Clarkesworld, Issue 223) - Hm. I thought this story, set in a fictional and somewhat allegorical-sounding country, was trying to do something interesting with the ambiguity of stories, but I think it would have benefitted from... being less allegorical and more ambiguous, perhaps? Like, I think part of the power of the ambiguity of stories comes from the part where people are real and also ambiguous, and that didn't quite come through so much for me here. But I thought it was interesting, anyway.
- Laser Eyes Ain’t Everything”] by Effie Seiberg (Diabolical Plots, May 16, 2025) - One-note amusing disabled-superhero story with a Point. It was fun!
- “Missing Helen”( by Tia Tashiro (Clarkesworld, Issue 226) - This one I really liked. It asks interesting questions about clones from the human standpoint: what would it be like to know you had a clone out there, what would it be like for the clone, what would it be like for someone who knew the original you? How does that play into human relationships?
- “Six People to Revise You”( by J.R. Dawson (Uncanny Magazine, Issue 62) - okay, so, the conceit of the story -- you can be "revised," which I guess overhauls your whole personality, and the data for doing this comes from asking people around you -- is rather interesting. The story itself didn't engage with the things I wanted it to. Why do you have to ask other people how they would revise you? What does it mean to overhaul your personality, is what makes you you still there? And what does it mean to feel about yourself that you would want to be revised? (Would I want to be revised? The devil is in the details, of course. I could imagine details where I'd jump at the chance, and other details where I'd definitely not want to.) So, yeah, very interesting concept and I wish it had played more with the ambiguities inherent in it; the story clearly feels a certain unambiguous way about it which made it not very interesting to me. As a paired read with "Missing Helen," I thought "Helen" did a much better job of engaging with the humanity in its premise.
- “Wire Mother” by Isabel J. Kim (Clarkesworld, Issue 229) - This is the only one of the six I read before nominations, and I didn't like it enough to read it again sooooo these thoughts are a few months old and my memory is terrible. But my recollection is that it was sort of an interesting comment on AI (I must confess that LLMs have gotten to the point as of now, June 2026, where I do have to constantly remind myself it's an algorithm even though I know very well it is... I wonder what it will be like for the people who are kids right now, growing up with AI that sound like people) with an ending that had a bit too much shock value to it.
Helen >> Wire Mother > Revise > Country > Visions > Laser, I guess? idek. Everything under Wire Mother I'm sort of ambivalent about.
- 10 Visions of the Future; or, Self-Care for the End of Days by Samantha Mills (Uncanny Magazine, Issue 63) - I mean, I thought this was nice and I don't regret reading it, but I think I like a little more plot to my stories? It's... basically what the title says.
- "In My Country" by Thomas Ha (Clarkesworld, Issue 223) - Hm. I thought this story, set in a fictional and somewhat allegorical-sounding country, was trying to do something interesting with the ambiguity of stories, but I think it would have benefitted from... being less allegorical and more ambiguous, perhaps? Like, I think part of the power of the ambiguity of stories comes from the part where people are real and also ambiguous, and that didn't quite come through so much for me here. But I thought it was interesting, anyway.
- Laser Eyes Ain’t Everything”] by Effie Seiberg (Diabolical Plots, May 16, 2025) - One-note amusing disabled-superhero story with a Point. It was fun!
- “Missing Helen”( by Tia Tashiro (Clarkesworld, Issue 226) - This one I really liked. It asks interesting questions about clones from the human standpoint: what would it be like to know you had a clone out there, what would it be like for the clone, what would it be like for someone who knew the original you? How does that play into human relationships?
- “Six People to Revise You”( by J.R. Dawson (Uncanny Magazine, Issue 62) - okay, so, the conceit of the story -- you can be "revised," which I guess overhauls your whole personality, and the data for doing this comes from asking people around you -- is rather interesting. The story itself didn't engage with the things I wanted it to. Why do you have to ask other people how they would revise you? What does it mean to overhaul your personality, is what makes you you still there? And what does it mean to feel about yourself that you would want to be revised? (Would I want to be revised? The devil is in the details, of course. I could imagine details where I'd jump at the chance, and other details where I'd definitely not want to.) So, yeah, very interesting concept and I wish it had played more with the ambiguities inherent in it; the story clearly feels a certain unambiguous way about it which made it not very interesting to me. As a paired read with "Missing Helen," I thought "Helen" did a much better job of engaging with the humanity in its premise.
- “Wire Mother” by Isabel J. Kim (Clarkesworld, Issue 229) - This is the only one of the six I read before nominations, and I didn't like it enough to read it again sooooo these thoughts are a few months old and my memory is terrible. But my recollection is that it was sort of an interesting comment on AI (I must confess that LLMs have gotten to the point as of now, June 2026, where I do have to constantly remind myself it's an algorithm even though I know very well it is... I wonder what it will be like for the people who are kids right now, growing up with AI that sound like people) with an ending that had a bit too much shock value to it.
Helen >> Wire Mother > Revise > Country > Visions > Laser, I guess? idek. Everything under Wire Mother I'm sort of ambivalent about.
Hugo novelettes
May. 31st, 2026 07:26 pmHey, I am reading Hugos stuff! I am behind on posting, though. Have the novelettes!
I must confess I was not particularly taken by any of these, but it may also be that I read them mostly while traveling and probably at least slightly grumpy :)
- “Kaiju Agonistes” by Scott Lynch (Uncanny Magazine, Issue 62) - this was the one that took me longest to read. I think... this could have been a lot fewer words. Basically, this is satire-esque AU Cold War with kaijus. It was fun, when I finally got through it, if a bit in-your-face.
- “Never Eaten Vegetables”( by tH.H. Pak (Clarkesworld, Issue 220) - Story about a ship carrying embryos that abruptly finds it has to parent a number of them. I think somehow I was the wrong audience for this story and I don't quite feel like I can articulate why? [ETA 6-1: oh wow. See discussion below. This story clearly hit me in a very particular way that I couldn't handle, and I'm retroactively feeling like it's a much stronger story than I could consciously give it credit for when I read it.] I felt like it was very "corporations are bad! They are the bad guys! Have we mentioned this??" and also was trying to get me to feel things via parenting, but I never really did because the parenting didn't feel real to me, and I was not very surprised to find the author is not themself a parent. idk. I think for some reason, that may not really have been the writer's fault, I never quite gelled with the characters enough, even though sentient ships and things like that are usually my jam.
- “Rapport: Friendship, Solidarity, Communion, Empathy” by Martha Wells (Reactor, July 10, 2025) - Martha Wells, like several other authors on this list, is very hit or miss for me, and this one was a miss. I was vaguely aware that this takes place as sort of a Murderbot-adjacent story, but it turns out that Murderbot itself is the draw for me; I couldn't really make myself care that much about the people or the ship, for some reason -- perhaps because I didn't remember enough about Murderbot, I didn't really get why I should care.
- “The Girl That My Mother Is Leaving Me For”( by Cameron Reed (Reactor, April 2, 2025) - This story just kind of confused me. It started out life as a Cyteen-esque story about genetics and environment and its intersection with a corporate sort of mentality (which was fine, although I think I'd rather just go read Cyteen again) and then veered somewhat sharply into. I felt like the sharp change made the story a bit incoherent to me? I guess it's trying to say something about different bodies, but I never quite caught up to the plot shift to get to the point where I was engaging thematically, I guess?
- "The Millay Illusion” by Sarah Pinsker (Uncanny Magazine, Issue 67) -- so I feel like Pinsker can be very "is this story meant for you or not" but this story about two girls in a traveling show together, one of whom is a mentalist and the other of whom is an illusionist, was very much meant for me. It's not a story that has well-defined answers, but that's kind of the point (and perhaps now I know to expect that from a Pinsker story so I don't get blindsided by it any more), and I really enjoyed the relationship between the two girls and all the unspoken depths of it (which although complex is not written as explicitly romantic, which I highly approve of and I want more stories with complex friendship that isn't explicitly romantic yes please thanks!).
- “When He Calls Your Name” by Catherynne M. Valente (Uncanny Magazine, Issue 65) - I always sort of brace myself when I see Valente's name, but for this piece about a vampire/succubus in rural America (which apparently is a Dolly Parton songfic?), she actually toned down her trademark over-the-top-ness enough that I actually liked it?? I did feel like it didn't quite draw the characters vividly enough that the end scene really felt earned -- and what's wrong with people who make the best of their circumstances anyway?? The way the story kind of denigrated that didn't sit well with me, as someone who tends to want to complain about my circumstances rather than make the best of them (and who very much admires people who do the latter).
Gosh, I don't know how I'd vote on this?? Probably something like this:
Millay > Kaiju > When He Calls > My Mother Is Leaving > Vegetables > Rapport > No Award, I guess?
6-1: I think I'm moving Vegetables up. Millay > Kaiju > Vegetables, I think? I feel like I should move the Millay down but I still like it better than the others...
I must confess I was not particularly taken by any of these, but it may also be that I read them mostly while traveling and probably at least slightly grumpy :)
- “Kaiju Agonistes” by Scott Lynch (Uncanny Magazine, Issue 62) - this was the one that took me longest to read. I think... this could have been a lot fewer words. Basically, this is satire-esque AU Cold War with kaijus. It was fun, when I finally got through it, if a bit in-your-face.
- “Never Eaten Vegetables”( by tH.H. Pak (Clarkesworld, Issue 220) - Story about a ship carrying embryos that abruptly finds it has to parent a number of them. I think somehow I was the wrong audience for this story and I don't quite feel like I can articulate why? [ETA 6-1: oh wow. See discussion below. This story clearly hit me in a very particular way that I couldn't handle, and I'm retroactively feeling like it's a much stronger story than I could consciously give it credit for when I read it.] I felt like it was very "corporations are bad! They are the bad guys! Have we mentioned this??" and also was trying to get me to feel things via parenting, but I never really did because the parenting didn't feel real to me, and I was not very surprised to find the author is not themself a parent. idk. I think for some reason, that may not really have been the writer's fault, I never quite gelled with the characters enough, even though sentient ships and things like that are usually my jam.
- “Rapport: Friendship, Solidarity, Communion, Empathy” by Martha Wells (Reactor, July 10, 2025) - Martha Wells, like several other authors on this list, is very hit or miss for me, and this one was a miss. I was vaguely aware that this takes place as sort of a Murderbot-adjacent story, but it turns out that Murderbot itself is the draw for me; I couldn't really make myself care that much about the people or the ship, for some reason -- perhaps because I didn't remember enough about Murderbot, I didn't really get why I should care.
- “The Girl That My Mother Is Leaving Me For”( by Cameron Reed (Reactor, April 2, 2025) - This story just kind of confused me. It started out life as a Cyteen-esque story about genetics and environment and its intersection with a corporate sort of mentality (which was fine, although I think I'd rather just go read Cyteen again) and then veered somewhat sharply into
I guess this is a spoiler
a desperate flight narrative where they have to run for their lives from a rival corporation who has demolished the one they were working for- "The Millay Illusion” by Sarah Pinsker (Uncanny Magazine, Issue 67) -- so I feel like Pinsker can be very "is this story meant for you or not" but this story about two girls in a traveling show together, one of whom is a mentalist and the other of whom is an illusionist, was very much meant for me. It's not a story that has well-defined answers, but that's kind of the point (and perhaps now I know to expect that from a Pinsker story so I don't get blindsided by it any more), and I really enjoyed the relationship between the two girls and all the unspoken depths of it (which although complex is not written as explicitly romantic, which I highly approve of and I want more stories with complex friendship that isn't explicitly romantic yes please thanks!).
- “When He Calls Your Name” by Catherynne M. Valente (Uncanny Magazine, Issue 65) - I always sort of brace myself when I see Valente's name, but for this piece about a vampire/succubus in rural America (which apparently is a Dolly Parton songfic?), she actually toned down her trademark over-the-top-ness enough that I actually liked it?? I did feel like it didn't quite draw the characters vividly enough that the end scene really felt earned -- and what's wrong with people who make the best of their circumstances anyway?? The way the story kind of denigrated that didn't sit well with me, as someone who tends to want to complain about my circumstances rather than make the best of them (and who very much admires people who do the latter).
Gosh, I don't know how I'd vote on this?? Probably something like this:
Millay > Kaiju > When He Calls > My Mother Is Leaving > Vegetables > Rapport > No Award, I guess?
6-1: I think I'm moving Vegetables up. Millay > Kaiju > Vegetables, I think? I feel like I should move the Millay down but I still like it better than the others...
Runner's high!
May. 31st, 2026 09:54 amI ran the 1.3 miles this morning at a pace of about 8.25 minutes per mile. I know my mile was about 8 minutes in high school, the last time I ran short distances for speed, and I haven't been sure why I couldn't get below about 9.5 in the last few years. Well, turns out it makes a difference if I know I only have to go 1.3 miles, vs. knowing I'm trying to stick it out as long as possible.
Muscles worked well together, especially after a mile, chest didn't hurt, was definitely out of breath the whole time. And then presumably because of being out of breath the whole time, I got runner's high afterward! Woohoo!
The chest hurting is something that frequently happens on my first day back to running after a long time away; it used to happen in Massachusetts and then would go away after one or two days. I think my body just needs a chance to remember how to do the thing. It doesn't seem medically significant.
So the plan is to keep the short runs up this week before work and see what happens next weekend.
Also, I realize it was probably my fault for never joining the track team despite my junior high P.E. teachers' encouragement and the best efforts of the high school track coach to recruit me every year, but I wish I'd been given some useful information in school on how to improve my running. As opposed to just "Run as fast as you can."
Something like "Set a sustainable goal that gets you breathing fast and do the same thing for 3-4 consecutive days, you will notice an immediate improvement in how hard running is!" would have gotten me more motivation to stick with running and to approach it in a systematic fashion.
Also someone to explain distance running vs. speed running. Because I'm way better at distance, but P.E. never gave us time for anything but speed. I got runner's high once, the one (1) time I got to run 2 miles*.
And my dad used to run, but he had a set 6-mile run he did every day for work reasons (military basic fitness requirements), didn't particularly like running and wasn't trying to improve his skills, and wasn't the verbal type anyway. So while he was happy to have me come along on his runs and was the only person in my family who seemed remotely pleased that I was running, he wasn't dispensing useful information.
I osmosed a few things, mostly from reading (hi, Voigt's The Runner!), but don't feel like I actually started to gain key knowledge until I got into the Barkley fandom a few years ago. And lo! I started being able to really run.
* And I had to fight for that. Everyone else had gone in and was in the locker rooms changing, class was almost over, and the teacher wanted me to go in. As I was reaching her at the end of the loop and she was waving me over, I held up a finger and called, "One more loop and it'll be 2 miles." She nodded and called back, "Just one more!"
I didn't want to quit, I felt better than I'd ever felt in my life. I remember continuing my run toward the locker rooms afterward, and the terrible letdown of having to stop at the door. And wanting that feeling again. I'd definitely heard of runner's high and knew what to call it, at least.
(Part of my memory is telling me it may have been 1.5 miles and I just really wanted to do 2 and knew I could, but that is a depressing thought. So let's just say I was allowed to run 2 miles.)
Much more common in school was to run across the gym and back, or an equivalent distance outside. I *sucked* at that. I was always a slow starter, there would be an impenetrable line of kids in front of me, and by the time I'd caught up, I couldn't pass them without breaking school rules about pushing and shoving. So I had to wait for them to reach the turnaround point, come back toward me and separate around me, allowing me to continue to the turnaround and then turn back, and then I would come in dead last. Which is absurd and I knew it at the time. Let me run more than 50 feet, ffs!
Signed, the person who is still trying to train to run 50 miles at the age of 42.
Oh, and hurdling. Hurdling was of Satan, as my (atheist) wife would say. We kept having to do running in a way that had nothing to do with how I, probably with the most serious running potential in my classes, ran. But any time they put me on a track and just let me go, I'd be competitive with the boys, and that was without any training. This is why I raced the boys who were athletes in high school.
Oh, rereading that entry, I realize there is something I absolutely took for granted when I wrote it but which may be weirding some of you out: I went to a high school where the classroom doors opened to the outside. So all this racing from the classroom door was happening outdoors; we weren't running in the hallways, which wouldn't have been safe or allowed. No one ever told me to stop running outside, though. (In fact, I suspect if you were going to be late to class, it was encouraged!)
Muscles worked well together, especially after a mile, chest didn't hurt, was definitely out of breath the whole time. And then presumably because of being out of breath the whole time, I got runner's high afterward! Woohoo!
The chest hurting is something that frequently happens on my first day back to running after a long time away; it used to happen in Massachusetts and then would go away after one or two days. I think my body just needs a chance to remember how to do the thing. It doesn't seem medically significant.
So the plan is to keep the short runs up this week before work and see what happens next weekend.
Also, I realize it was probably my fault for never joining the track team despite my junior high P.E. teachers' encouragement and the best efforts of the high school track coach to recruit me every year, but I wish I'd been given some useful information in school on how to improve my running. As opposed to just "Run as fast as you can."
Something like "Set a sustainable goal that gets you breathing fast and do the same thing for 3-4 consecutive days, you will notice an immediate improvement in how hard running is!" would have gotten me more motivation to stick with running and to approach it in a systematic fashion.
Also someone to explain distance running vs. speed running. Because I'm way better at distance, but P.E. never gave us time for anything but speed. I got runner's high once, the one (1) time I got to run 2 miles*.
And my dad used to run, but he had a set 6-mile run he did every day for work reasons (military basic fitness requirements), didn't particularly like running and wasn't trying to improve his skills, and wasn't the verbal type anyway. So while he was happy to have me come along on his runs and was the only person in my family who seemed remotely pleased that I was running, he wasn't dispensing useful information.
I osmosed a few things, mostly from reading (hi, Voigt's The Runner!), but don't feel like I actually started to gain key knowledge until I got into the Barkley fandom a few years ago. And lo! I started being able to really run.
* And I had to fight for that. Everyone else had gone in and was in the locker rooms changing, class was almost over, and the teacher wanted me to go in. As I was reaching her at the end of the loop and she was waving me over, I held up a finger and called, "One more loop and it'll be 2 miles." She nodded and called back, "Just one more!"
I didn't want to quit, I felt better than I'd ever felt in my life. I remember continuing my run toward the locker rooms afterward, and the terrible letdown of having to stop at the door. And wanting that feeling again. I'd definitely heard of runner's high and knew what to call it, at least.
(Part of my memory is telling me it may have been 1.5 miles and I just really wanted to do 2 and knew I could, but that is a depressing thought. So let's just say I was allowed to run 2 miles.)
Much more common in school was to run across the gym and back, or an equivalent distance outside. I *sucked* at that. I was always a slow starter, there would be an impenetrable line of kids in front of me, and by the time I'd caught up, I couldn't pass them without breaking school rules about pushing and shoving. So I had to wait for them to reach the turnaround point, come back toward me and separate around me, allowing me to continue to the turnaround and then turn back, and then I would come in dead last. Which is absurd and I knew it at the time. Let me run more than 50 feet, ffs!
Signed, the person who is still trying to train to run 50 miles at the age of 42.
Oh, and hurdling. Hurdling was of Satan, as my (atheist) wife would say. We kept having to do running in a way that had nothing to do with how I, probably with the most serious running potential in my classes, ran. But any time they put me on a track and just let me go, I'd be competitive with the boys, and that was without any training. This is why I raced the boys who were athletes in high school.
Oh, rereading that entry, I realize there is something I absolutely took for granted when I wrote it but which may be weirding some of you out: I went to a high school where the classroom doors opened to the outside. So all this racing from the classroom door was happening outdoors; we weren't running in the hallways, which wouldn't have been safe or allowed. No one ever told me to stop running outside, though. (In fact, I suspect if you were going to be late to class, it was encouraged!)
Star City ( 1.01 and 1.02)
May. 31st, 2026 04:36 pmBeing a spin-off series of For all Mankind, Star City has just released its first two episodes on Apple + . You may or may not have heard about it being in the works; it goes back to the 1960s, where the original series started, from the point of departure FaM took from "our" timeline, i.e. that the Sowjets, not the US, manages to put the first Astronaut on the Moon, with the consequence that the Space Race doesn't end, which in the US also means some significant social and technological advances ahead of schedule while other things stay the same.
Star City - named after the Sowjet equivalent of Houston - doesn't, though, simply cover the same story from the Russian pov, if these first two episodes are anything to go by. Don't get me wrong, it's immediately evident that this was made by the same people (in a good way) and there are some trademark shared qualities: we're introduced to a variety of characters in the first two eps and while some are more prominent than others in the narrative, this is clearly an ensemble story, not one focused on one clear lead character; there is a sequence both suspenseful and wondrous involving space, and btw, it's brought home even more drastically than in the equivalent US scenes how incredibly dangerous it is what these early cosmonauts are doing (with minimal technical protection); it's the collaboration between the engineers back home and the cosmonaut(s) up in space that saves the day; espionage and political competition is a key issue.
The difference comes, imo, because the Soviet setting is taken seriously, which makes The Testaments which I also recently watched the better comparison in some ways, because this show is very much about how you live in a totalitarian dictatorship where nothing, including your body and your beliefs, are truly your own, where there is constant surveillance, where the state can do just about anything to you without you having any protection whatsoever. And how, whether you are a true believer in the ideals you've been taught are the foundation of the state or whether you're a sceptic, this inevitably forms you.
(There is also a big aesthetic difference, in that the first season of For All Mankind did trade on the nostalgia factor for the georgeous Sixties fashion a bit; no such things available in the 1960s USSR for most of the characters.)
( Slightly spoilery talk about the characters and themes )
In conclusion: so far, John Le Carré meets Space Exploration; I am looking forward to see it unfold further.
Star City - named after the Sowjet equivalent of Houston - doesn't, though, simply cover the same story from the Russian pov, if these first two episodes are anything to go by. Don't get me wrong, it's immediately evident that this was made by the same people (in a good way) and there are some trademark shared qualities: we're introduced to a variety of characters in the first two eps and while some are more prominent than others in the narrative, this is clearly an ensemble story, not one focused on one clear lead character; there is a sequence both suspenseful and wondrous involving space, and btw, it's brought home even more drastically than in the equivalent US scenes how incredibly dangerous it is what these early cosmonauts are doing (with minimal technical protection); it's the collaboration between the engineers back home and the cosmonaut(s) up in space that saves the day; espionage and political competition is a key issue.
The difference comes, imo, because the Soviet setting is taken seriously, which makes The Testaments which I also recently watched the better comparison in some ways, because this show is very much about how you live in a totalitarian dictatorship where nothing, including your body and your beliefs, are truly your own, where there is constant surveillance, where the state can do just about anything to you without you having any protection whatsoever. And how, whether you are a true believer in the ideals you've been taught are the foundation of the state or whether you're a sceptic, this inevitably forms you.
(There is also a big aesthetic difference, in that the first season of For All Mankind did trade on the nostalgia factor for the georgeous Sixties fashion a bit; no such things available in the 1960s USSR for most of the characters.)
( Slightly spoilery talk about the characters and themes )
In conclusion: so far, John Le Carré meets Space Exploration; I am looking forward to see it unfold further.
Let's try running again
May. 30th, 2026 04:51 pmFirst I needed new shoes, then I couldn't find new shoes, then I went to Europe, then I came back and gave a talk, and then I found new shoes but my knee was acting up, and then there was a week-long-seminar with bookended social events I needed to attend, and then my knee stopped hurting and then I could finally run today! Whew.
I got a recommendation for a local running store about a mile from me. The fit specialist found me shoes that were comfortable on the *first* try. This is UNPRECEDENTED. Normally shoe-shopping is this huge, time-consuming and tedious ordeal.
He also suggested that if they behaved like my old shoes, which were comfortable up to 15 miles of running and then started to give me runner's toe, that I try toe caps, which I could order cheap from Amazon. So I have those in case I need them.
But I do not need them yet, for my body forgot how to run! It's been almost two months, and my cardio is complete trash.
My muscle memory wasn't too bad, but hoo boy. Out of breath after 3 blocks and chest hurting after 1 mile. My cardio gains never last longer than a few days, so I was fully expecting this. I set out to do 2 loops, but after my chest started to hurt I decided the best thing to do was try to finish this loop as soon as possible.
So I did 1.3 miles at about an 8.6 minute/mile pace, and called it a day. I'm going to try to do that every morning (maybe faster) until my cardio comes back and I remember how to run, then we can think about some distance running.
I like my running shoes and shirt and belt and shorts, though! It's a lot easier to run when your equipment is comfortable. Worth the money.
I haven't tried out my new running vest yet, but once I remember how to run and get some momentum going, I'll try that.
I've also discovered a small hill near here, so maybe that will help. I have to cross an enormous boulevard to get there, but if I wake up early enough in the morning (currently fighting a sleep schedule that's much later than it should be) and don't run too long, it should be feasible to at least try it out. I miss hills.
I got a recommendation for a local running store about a mile from me. The fit specialist found me shoes that were comfortable on the *first* try. This is UNPRECEDENTED. Normally shoe-shopping is this huge, time-consuming and tedious ordeal.
He also suggested that if they behaved like my old shoes, which were comfortable up to 15 miles of running and then started to give me runner's toe, that I try toe caps, which I could order cheap from Amazon. So I have those in case I need them.
But I do not need them yet, for my body forgot how to run! It's been almost two months, and my cardio is complete trash.
My muscle memory wasn't too bad, but hoo boy. Out of breath after 3 blocks and chest hurting after 1 mile. My cardio gains never last longer than a few days, so I was fully expecting this. I set out to do 2 loops, but after my chest started to hurt I decided the best thing to do was try to finish this loop as soon as possible.
So I did 1.3 miles at about an 8.6 minute/mile pace, and called it a day. I'm going to try to do that every morning (maybe faster) until my cardio comes back and I remember how to run, then we can think about some distance running.
I like my running shoes and shirt and belt and shorts, though! It's a lot easier to run when your equipment is comfortable. Worth the money.
I haven't tried out my new running vest yet, but once I remember how to run and get some momentum going, I'll try that.
I've also discovered a small hill near here, so maybe that will help. I have to cross an enormous boulevard to get there, but if I wake up early enough in the morning (currently fighting a sleep schedule that's much later than it should be) and don't run too long, it should be feasible to at least try it out. I miss hills.
Season finales time!
May. 29th, 2026 12:08 pmFor All Mankind Season 5: Season Finale: now that was a great season finale!
( Spoilers pay the price and see it through )
The Testaments Season 1: Season Finale: a good finale, with my only problems coming from knowing the source material, otherwise I would completely cheer what has been a very good first season.
( Spoilers have told an excellent coming of age story in a severe dystopia )
( Spoilers pay the price and see it through )
The Testaments Season 1: Season Finale: a good finale, with my only problems coming from knowing the source material, otherwise I would completely cheer what has been a very good first season.
( Spoilers have told an excellent coming of age story in a severe dystopia )
The Testaments and For All Mankind: Bloody Tales both
May. 22nd, 2026 06:04 pmFor All Mankind: In which the scriptwriting duo Weddle & Thompson, who first made their name on the later seasons of DS9 and were subsequently recruited by Ron Moore for BSG now script For all Mankind: War Against Your Population Is Fucked Up, the episode.
( Spoilers also spend some time continuing the quest for life, of course )
The Testaments 1.09: Marat/Sade .
This was really the title of the episode, I kid you not. Being a theatre and a French Revolution nerd sometimes really pays off.
( Spoilers were raised in a society which loves their Old Testament Style vengeance )
( Spoilers also spend some time continuing the quest for life, of course )
The Testaments 1.09: Marat/Sade .
This was really the title of the episode, I kid you not. Being a theatre and a French Revolution nerd sometimes really pays off.
( Spoilers were raised in a society which loves their Old Testament Style vengeance )