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rheinsbergThis was not just an but the most famous, most expensive GDR tv production, and somehow I didn't watch it until this last week. The title is somewhat misleading, since it's All Saxony, (Nearly) All The Time, and Prussia only has two cameos (in episode 2) in the first four episodes, not becoming equally important in terms of location and character until the last two episodes (which are set early in the Seven Years War). The miniseries is loosely based on a a series of novels by a nineteenth century Polish author collectively referred as "the Saxon series". If he already took liberties with history, the show then added some. Something else to keep in mind: it was created in the 1980s. The first few decades, East Germany found dealing with its Hohenzollern past a bit tricky. On the one hand, imperial feudalism = BAD, obviously. On the other hand, by the 1980s, the GDR was in dire need of money, tourists were an income, and national pride was a thing again. And given the content of this miniseries, I also suspect someone in the production team said: "You know how they're all glued to the tv screen in the west, watching these decadent American shows where people have sex and scheme all the time? We can do that, too, with more nudity than the Yanks and way better fashion, and still justify it as national heritage!"
Keep this in mind as I give you the summary of the six episodes:
Episode 1: Countess Cosel (Part I):
August(us) the Strong: the series starts in the
tate 1690s when I'm crowned as King of Poland for the first time, but I get played by Dietrich Körner throughout, and he looks like he's somewhere in his late 50s or early 60s. I just abandoned the proud Protestant Saxon heritage of House Wettin in order to get my hands on Poland, since they accept only Catholic sovereigns. By this, you can see I have large scale ambitions. I also really like to party!
Charles of Sweden: I'm the wannabe Alexander of the Baroque, just on the throne and determined to invade and make war! Saxony is just a piece of cake for me. Watch me kick Russian ass next once I'm done here!
Swedes: rape and pillage, which is shown in a few discreet shots, also plunder a castle without raping, which is good for:
Anna Constantia von Hoym: I'm the leading lady of the first two parts, and I will not forget this, Swedish bastards.
Flemming: I'm August's scheming advisor and most important minister, and I have to tell him that our army just isn't up to battlling Charles. We have to sue for peace as long as we still have Saxony and give up on Poland for now.
August: This is humiliating, but fine, I'll do it. But I'll be back!
August: *parties in Dresden to cheer himself up, dares everyone to describe their fave mistresses*
Treasury Chancellor Hoym: I don't have one, because my wife is the most beautiful woman of the country. Way more beautiful than your current maitresse en titre. She's the most beautiful woman of the world!
selenak: You clearly haven't read Livy. Also, didn't Anna meet August when the Hoym town residence burned and she organized the fire fighting? Wasn't that dramatic enough for you, Polish novelist and German scriptwriters?
August: She's invited to my next ball.
Olav von Rosen: I'm an OC who is in all the episodes. Currently I am a young man bravely escorting Anna from the recently plundered castle to Dresden despite some more marauding Swedes with evil intentions. Charles still uses us as his backyard, you know.
Anna (to Hoym): I can't believe you. Where do you think this is going?
Hoym: Look, he's my boss.
August: You're hot. I'm still King.
Anna: Prince Elector right now, and also, if you want to play Henry VIII, I'm playing Anne Boleyn. I have no intention of becoming your next mistress. If you like it, put a ring on it.
Flemming: What's that? You're jut supposed to be the next piece of fluff! Your majesty, no way!
August: Relax, I have it all under control. Look, Anna, I'm already married, and so are you. And since I'm now Catholic, divorce is just not on.
Anna: But you want me all for yourself, don't you?
August: I really really do.
Anna: I'll divorce Hoym if you give me a marriage promise in writing in which you swear that you'll marry me if you ever become a widower.
Flemming: Don't do it!
August: I never wanted a woman more. Here's your marriage pledge in writing, Anna. Only the best for you! Once you're divorced, you need a new title. How about Countess Cosel?
Anna: Thank you. Since you are now my fiancee and basically my husband, I take a wifely interest in the government of this country. Starting with the fact we're still sort of occupied by the goddam Swedes.
August: Not forever, I promises. Did I mention I have long term plans? Poland back, of course, but more than that. The current Emperor has no sons, see.
Anna: But he has a brother who'll succeed him.
August: The brother doesn't have any sons yet, either. I love gambling, and I'm betting on the fact the Habsburs will die out. My oldest kid is going to marry the current Emperor's daughter, older cousin to not yet born MT. You see where this is going, Darling?
Anna: I love a man with a plan. So, about those Swedes....
Charles: I'm off to another round with Peter the not yet Great, but I want to do some sightseeing first and visit Dresden incognito.
Anna: August, Charles is in Dresden incognito. We could totally capture him and end your humiliation.
August: This would go against the royal bro code. Sorry, no can do.
Anna: Rosen, organize the capture of Charles anyway behind August's back, it's for his own good.
Flemming: Aha, the slut is making a mistake! Your Majesty, guess what I just found out?
August: Meets up with Charles as per the royal bro code.
Rosesn: Can't capture Charles if my King is also around, sorry.
Charles: So, August, before I leave, I keep hearing about how strong you are, want to demonstrate?
August: *bends a bar of iron around Charles in the form of a horse's shoe, then throws it away, in a none too subtle demonstration of how he could have captured Charles if not for the royal bro code*
Charles: First time I am impressed by you. So long! Off to earn more glory against Peter.
Anna (to August): I don't believe you. We could have...argh! What kind of a King are you?
August: Since you insulted my manliness, I'm off to Malplaquet, the most famous pre-Fritz battle of the century, where I'll meet young FW, Grumbkow and Seckendorff off screen and have a lot of sex with other women!
Peter the about to become Great: *wins against Charles*
Charles: *retreats in depression and infamy, will not get old*
Flemming: At last, things are looking better. Now we can get Poland back, and I can surely get rid of Cosel. He's having lots of sex with other women already, time to get him an alternate mistress.
Anna: I'll leave it at one jealous scene and then reconsider since I actually missed you, offering you a compromise: other one night stands, fine, but I'm your true Queen.
August: Of course you are.
A few more happy years during which Anna is the uncrowned Queen and produces some children: *ensue*
Flemming: Grrr. Argh. But now that Lescynski guy has finally left. Poland beckons, your majesty!
Anna: Farewell, dearest. I have a bad feeling about this....
Episode 2: Countess Cosel (Part II):
August: Hi, Polish ladies. Missed me?
Flemming: At last, I've found one who captures his attention for longer than a night. Also, I'm censoring the Royal Mail so he doesn't get any of Cosel's love letters, only the ones where she's irritated by his not replying and sharp tongued!
August: You're hot.
Rival: I want to be a mistress, not a one night stand.
August: ...okay. Anna maybe could do with some competition.
Flemming: *fakes a murder attempt on the new mistress, makes it look like Anna ordered it*
Rival: I'm not going back with you to Saxony if I have to fear for my life. Banish that evil woman!
August: Um. Well. Flemming, send someone to tell Anna tactfully she should leave Dresden and go to Pillnitz for a while. After some time, when tempers have cooled down...
Flemming: *sends messenger who tells Anna that she's banished to Pillnitz, but has to leave her children behind*
Anna: No way! Rosen, let's try to meet August on the road.
Flemming: Your majesty, Countess Cosel has disobeyed a direct order.
August: Make her go to Pillnitz, I don't care how!
Anna: *is escorted forcibly to Pillnitz*
Rosen: Countess, sorry, but I think Flemming knows if you ever manage to see the King, he's screwed. He'll kill you. We should escape. I'll organize it.
Anna: Thanks, loyal knight.
Escape: *happens, but with interruptions; Anna and the kids are already on the escape boat when she sees there are fireworks in Dresden (literal ones) and decides she needs to try one last time*
August: *sees Anna wearing a masque, approaches her* You're hot. How come I haven't seen you before?
Anna: Because you're a complete cad, you bastard. I've had it now with you. Bye!
Escape: *continues, now with added obstacle of furious August sending soldiers after them, but loyal Rosen manages to smuggle them out of Dresden anyway*
Anna, Rosen and the kids: *arrive in Berlin*
Flemming: Your Majesty, we have a problem. Your youngest kid by Cosel is a boy. You're a widower now. As long as she has that marriage promise in writing, she could make a case that she is in fact your wife, and thus he another legitimate son. Your oldest son will never become King of Poland, let along Emperor, if that question mark hangs over him. Do it for the Imperial future, your majesty! We need to get that marriage pledge, and the Countess Cosel to go with it. It's way too dangerous to let her hang out in neighbouring Prussia.
August: ....I see your point and am tearing out the last of my love of my heart. We need to get FW to return Anna to us. How? Let's call my secretary.
Young Page Brühl: I am now entering the narrative played as a late teen by future director Leander Hausmann. The actor who'll play me from the next episode onwards is Leander's dad.
Young Brühl: August's secretary, have some more wine, it's not like the King is going to need you in the next five minutes.
Secretary: *passes out drunk*
Brühl: Sorry, your majesty, your secretary is passed out, but maybe I can help?
August: Not unless you can write a letter making FW return Anna to me.
Brühl: Not a problem. *writes* Dear FW, if you send my ex back I'm returning some tall deserters to you. Love, August. P.S. Also you don't want people to think your're harboring sluts in Berlin, do you?
August and Flemming: *are impressed*
August: That's one promising young man.
FW: Tall deserters, you say? *heart eyes* Arrest the slut and deliver her to August!
Anna: *arrives in Stolpen as a prisoner*
Soldier in the Stolpen garnison: *falls in love with Anna*
Rosen: This has potential. Don't give up, Countess!
Anna: I never do.
Flemming: *gets his hands on the marriage pledge by blackmailing the Jewish banker Rosen has left it withÜ
FW: *has his second scene of the episode, at an event which is a mix of his and Fritz' trip to Dresden and the Zeithain camp*
Orzelska (silent role): *dances suggestively like Salome*
selenak: Why is she blonde? All the Orzelska's I've seen so far were brunettes.
Fritz (played by very much not a teenager actor): *looks*
Fritz: Leutnant Keith, we must escape!
Leutnant Keith: I am apparently a mix of Keith the page, Peter Keith and Katte, and say this escape thing might be difficult:
Fritz: Gonna do it, though.
FW: *Catches him, drags him in front of everyone and abuses him*
Flemming (to August): Okay, the Prussian King has calmed down now and is ready to leave. But I have a bad feeling that the kid is never going to get over the fact this happened in front of lots of Saxons.
*exit Prussians from the tale for the next few episodes*
Anna: *changes clothes with the young soldier in love with her, escapes the castle, is met by loyal Rosen outside*
Young Soldier: *leaves the castle because can't bear to be without Anna, which naturally alerts the guards to the fact they just saw him leave the castle TWICE*
Anna: *after some action scene horseriding, is recaptured*
Anna: This is just not the episode for succesful escapes.
*Some time later*
August: I want to try out those new canons FW sold me. The Stolpen area has some tough rocks to shoot at.
Anna: He's totally using that as an excuse to visit me, I just know it.
August: shoots at rocks, leaves without visiting.
Anna:... I guess that's it for me. You shall not see me on screen again, audience, though I live for many decades more and will meet Heinrich in my old age.
Episode 3: Brühl (Part I)
Brühl (now played by a man in his 40s): The last episode ended in 1730, and now it's 1733, since August has just died in Warsaw. I still look 24 years older. Just go with it. I am the J.R. Ewing of the Rokoko age, your main character for the next two eps, and now I have to bring the news of August's demise to his son, future August III., who is in Dresden.
Sulkowski: I started out as a page as well but am future August III.'s bff. Clearly, that means I get to rule once my bud is King, because he likes me best. I have nothing to fear from Brühl, who can do the financial stuff. I'm a military man! Hey Brühl! Back from Warsaw?
Brühl: Sadly, our glorious King has died.
Sulkowski: OMG we have to tell my buddy!
Brühl: Clearly he shouldn't get such sad news without emotional support. How about getting his wife and his confessor so they can break it to him gently? Also, I must get out of these travel cloths and wear something appropriate for such news, see you later with the other two.
Sulkowski: That's actually a good idea. Okay, see ya!
Brühl: *gets a page* Tell young(er) August you've seen me, but not that I sent you.
Brühl: *is summoned by August the soon III while Sulkowski is still busy tracking down the wife and the confessor*
Brühl: *tells August the soon III. the news, is there for him*
Wife, Confessor, Sulkowski: Arrive too late.
Sulkowski, when the other two take over: But I thought we were to tell him together?
Brühl: Sorry, I was summoned, I didn't even have time to change. But I swear I have no ambitions. You are the only one for PM, clearly!
August the soon III: So you're going to be my PM, Suko, but you, Brühl, you're going to be my second most important minister.
Brühl: If I must.
Brühl: *has sex with the Countess Moscynska, daughter of August the Strong and Anna Countess Cosel*
Brühl: *during sex*: Your father was the coolest, I am actually sorry that he's dead, and I'm so into you not just because you're hot but because you're his daughter and that of the one and only Cosel*
Brühl: *after sex*: So did I mention that your Dad is who I want to be?
Moscynska: You're lucky we're into kink in this family. Well, you can't be him, but you could totally be the power behind the throne.
Brüh: That'll do.
Watzdorf: I'm an idealistic enlightened thinker, writing pamphlets against the corruption at court, especially as practised by the two ex pages Sukowski and Brühl.
selenak: *googling him later: You're nothing of the sort and already have several rape suits following you at this point.)
Franziska: I'm a young naive, totally in love with you.
Tweedledum and Tweedledee: We're two civil servants, one of us going to become Sukowski's minion, one Brühl's. We sort of deliver the economic commentary on events from now on.
Maria Josepha: I'm August the now III's wife, Mt's cousin and thus a proud Habsburg and very Catholic.
Guarini: I'm the confessor from earlier, and the evil priest of the remaining episodes. I scheme.
Sulkowski: So, I have plans for Saxony. The Austrians are really going downhill in this decades. Isn't Silesia a nice province next door? We should totally invade it!
Maria Josepha: What?
Guarini: And that's why we should back the other one.
Maria Josepha: But is that Brühl more reliable? Isn't he a Protestant?
Guarini: We should marry him to a Catholic lady. Doesn't your Bohemian lady-in-waiting here have a daughter named Franziska?
Franziska: But I love Watzdorf! Brühl, I know you're into Mosczynska, can't you let me be with my true love?
Brühl: Not if I want to continue my career, darling. Not giving up Moscynska, though. I'm afraid our engagement is on.
selenak: Hang on... Franziska? Your future wife is called Marianne! Also she did not have a thing with Watzdorf. *googles* Maria Anna Franziska, okay, fair enough though her biography says she used "Marianne".
Watzdorf: *is busy writing more pamphlets against Sulkowski and Brühl*
Sulkowski: I'm punishing the printer.
Brühl: Pff. I'm buying the printer and bribing him by making him the official court printer. What's that you say, minion, my fiancee and Watzdorf? Well well well. Do tell Sulkowski's minion in strict confidence Watzdorf is about to launch an exposé on Sukowski's Silesia plans!
Sulkowski: *arrests Watzdorf, puts him into Königstein*
Franziska: Fine, I'll marry you, if you promise to help me to set my beloved free and avenge myself on that bastard Sukowski.
Brühl: Naturally.
Episode 4: Brühl (II):
Sulkowski: So, about Silesia. I think that's absolutely brilliant plan of mine, and history will prove me right, you'll see.
Brühl: Maybe we should try to get it politically instead? Seeing as our army isn't anywhere near as large as the Austrian one?
Sulkowski: You're not a military man, Brühl, you don't understand. Here are my secret plans to explain it, though, while I'm off to fight for the Habsburg Emperor against the Turks. We're still subjects to the Emperor, after all, so I can't deny the request.
Brühl: *makes copy of the secret plans, and gives them to the Austrian envoy*
Vienna: WTF?
Maria Josepha, Guarini, Brühl, all in their respective ways to August III: Sulkowski got you in a hell of a lot of trouble with the Emperor with these Silesia plans. He needs to go.
August III: I'm just into art and building palaces, can't we all be nice together?
Everyone else: No!
Meanwhile, on the front:
Sulkowski: Hello there. You seem a trustworthy veteran. Let's be friends.
Rosen: By all means. You should be careful.
Sulkowski: Eh, the King loves me. I'll always stay on top!
Rosen: I've heard that before. Countess Cosel is still at Stolpen.
Sulkowski: I'll make August release her when I get back, he's completely unlike his Dad.
Sulkowski: *gets a letter that he's dismissed as PM*
Sulkowski: WTF? *rides home, manages to see August III despite Brühl's precautions*
August III: I just want peace and love, can't it stay as it was?
Everyone else: NO.
Franziska: So, husband, if I seduce August III who unlike his father has been a loyal husband so far and make him banish Sukowski, will you then see to it that my beloved Watzdorf is released from Königstein?
Brühl: Naturally.
Brühl: *tells minion that he wants Watzdorf to be freed, but phrases it in a way that makes it very clear what really should happen*
Minion: *tells sub minion to do go to Königstein*
Subminion: I don't think this will end well for me, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
Other civil servant minion: Sulkowski, the only thing that can save you now is if we get the dirt on Brühl. Maybe that Watzdorf who used to write the pamphlets knows me? I'm off to Königstein to find out.
Watzdorf: *is thrown of the walls of Königstein as a free dead body*
Brühl: Sulkowski did that.
Franziska: I'm not THAT naive. Also I'm going to have sex with every handsome young guy who comes my way from this point onwards in revenge on you, but not with you, you bastard.
selenak: I suppose the eleven children you two had together don't exist in this miniseries. Also you two wrote love letters to each other twenty years post marriage, but okay, based on a 19th century novel written at point when official history was completely anti Brühl.)
Brühl: That's okay, dearest, Moscynska and I are still an item, anyway.
August III: Brühl, you're now my only minister and bff and everything.
Brühl: Yay!
Episode 5: From the time of the 7 Years War (I):
Brühl: So, I've been thinking. Silesia got unfortunately nabbed by Fritz of Prussia, but Saxony can still end up as a superpower by diplomacy, since he's been pissing off everyone else in the last decade. I' have this brilliant plan of creating
an alliance between France and Austria, with Russia and Sweden joining in. And Saxony right in the middle.
Moscynska: Wow. How come you're letting this Kaunitz guy take all the credit?
Brühl: I'm modest like that.
*change of location to.... Sanssouci*
Fritz (now played by an actor who got famous for this part, Arno Wyzniewski): Fredersdorf (first word of dialogue he has), let's talk exposition and establish that I'm the toughest, meanest, magnificent bastard of the era. Brühl is officially outclassed.
Fredersdorf (played by actor somewhat smaller than Wyzniweski, Joachim Tomaschewsky): No question about it, but since I'm not just your treasurer but also your spy master, I'd still like to know what he's up to.
Italian greyhounds: *are always around Fritz; this is a plot point*
Max de Simoni: I'm one of the two new OCs, a handsome young Swiss adventurer who wants to serve Fritz.
Fredersdorf: You can do that in Dresden as our spy. Countess Brühl is still into young guys lilke you. Seduce her and find out what Brühl is up to.
Simoni: You want me to have sex for Prussia?
Fredersdorf: Absolutely.
Simoni: I never thought serving the Hohenzollern could be such fun.
Simoni: *has sex with Franziska who gets him a job as one of Brühl's undersecretaries*
Pepita von Nostiz: I'm the new naive, in love with a Prussian soldier, who leaves his regiment for a night of love with me. Dresden is just three hours away on horseback, after all.
Prussian soldier: *gets shouted at by his superior officer, draws his sword, realises that he's done, is arrested*
Fritz: Anyone who draws on his superior officer needs to get executed for the sake of discipline in my army.
Fredersdorf: ...But he's a promising young guy otherwise, so maybe some mercy?
Fritz: No. Discipline! Also I don't like deserters.
Pepita: I hate the King of Prussia and swear revenge forever and ever.
Xaver Maslowski: I'm the other new OC, in love with Pepita, tormented by the fact Simoni, who, lilke me, is an undersecretary at Brühl's, flirts with her as well and no one can resist him.
Simoni: *actually gets his hands on the secret documents proving the alliance against Prussia* RED ALERT RED ALERT.
Fritz: ....okay, I'll admit to being just a bit surprised. Clearly, action is called for. Fredersdorf, time to invade again, I've been getting rusty! We're off to Saxony.
Minion: Um. The Prussian army is currently invading our country.
Brühl: Your majesty, while that is a admittedly a bit worrying, it's only a temporary set back. No way Fritz can win against the armies of our allies.
Allies: armies we're going to send next year.
Saxon commander: No way our army can hold off the Prussians until then.
Brühl: ... I think you and I should retreat to Königstein, your majesty.
Episode 6: From the time of the 7 Years War (II):
Fritz: *still in Sanssouci* Fredersdorf, I still need intel on Brühl. Even from Königstein.
Fredersdorf: Will see to it, but why are we still in Sanssouci when it's now autumn of 1756 and we've taken most of Saxony except Pirna and Königstein?
Fritz: Because the producers got permission to film here, and by God, they're going to film here. So every time I'm not explicitly in a battle, I hop back to Sanssouci. It's just a few hours!
Pepita, Maria Josepha, Franziska and Guarini: *conspire in the Dresden palace where the Queen still lives, even under Prussian occupation*
Pepita: I had this brilliant idea of how we can save Saxony from Fritz. We kidnap him, then use him as leverage.
Maria Josepha: Sounds like a plan to me. Countess Brühl, write to your husband to tell him that.
Franziska: Will do, and Pepita, send me your hot Swiss admirer whom I'm still banging as well, we'll use him as a courier.
Simoni: rides to Sanssouci (seriously, the number of times they find an excuse to show that palace is amazing), reports to Fritz about a secret plan, but doesn't actually now WHICH scheme because Franziska hasn't told him what's in the letter and the letter was written in chiffre*
Fritz: You seem competent, and I like your looks. Are you by any chance musical?
Simoni: I play the cembalo.
Fritz and Simoni: *play a flute/cembalo duet*
Simoni: shows up in Königstein
Brühl in Königstein: *is slowly getting stir crazy and suspects a mole, but suspects poor innocent Waslawski, not Simoni, who is just that irresistible to everyone*
Guarini in Dresden: As an evil priest, I'm not putting my trust into this kidnapping scheme. We need a fallback scheme. Here's a potion in a black bottle. To be used if the kidnapping doesn't work out. Got that, Glasow?
Glasow: *is a middle aged overweight man* And I get absolution?
Guarini: That's what evil priests spreading the opiate of the masses are for.
Maslawski (not knowing any of this): Pepita, to prove my love for you, I'll be the one to kidnap Fritz, personally.
Maslawski: *spies on Fritz to get a sense of his schedule, thus seeing Simoni depart from the Prussians*
Maslawski: tells this to Pepita
Simoni: *back in Dresden to figure out what the secret plan is*
Simoni: Hi, Franziska. Let's have sex, I've missed you.
Franziska. So I hear you've been hanging out with the Prussians? That's what little Pepita claims anyway.
Simoni: Slander! Okay...I sort of spent some time in Berlin, but I'm Swiss, you know, which means neutral, and can I help it Fritz wanted to play a duet with me?
Franziska: I empathize. You've got a hot bod, you're smart, and they say he doesn't like women.
Simoni: Countess! *wink, nudge* You're the hottest, though.
selenak: Wow. This is the first time this miniseries seem to as much as hint at the existence of non-straight orientation in anyone.
Pepita's grandmother: *Is a Fritz fan, has heard Pepita's plotting and sends an anonymous (as not to incriminate her granddaughter) warning letter to Fritz that he's about to be kidnapped*
Fritz: *dictates instructions - in Sanssouci - that if he's shot, the invasion should proceed anyway, and if he's kidnapped, any instructions from him thereafter are to be ignored, then heads off to Bohemia, because*
Austrians: have managed to get an army together to fight Fritz at Lobowitz
Fritz: *wins*
Brühl and August: That's it, alas. We're off to Warsaw.
Glasow: *puts Guarini's poison in Fritz' chocolate cup* (at Sanssouci, Fritz came back immediately after the battle)
Fritz: *sits reading with an Italian greyhound in his lap, tells Glasow to put the chololate next to him*
Glasow: *does so, leaves*
Fritz: *smiles lovingly at dog, lets it drink the chocolate*
Italian Greyhound not named out loud*: *dies*
Fritz: REVENGE!
Glasow: *is tortured, incriminates all the conspirators, not just Guarini, including Simoni (because he's seen him with Franziska a lot)
Fritz: Simoni what? Okay, he is to be hanged, just like Glasow.
Glasow: *is hanged*
selenak: But he wasn't executed! ... Never mind.
Prussian soldiers: Search chez Franziska Brühl for Simoni (and telling her she'd to leave for Warsaw to join her husband and the King there)
Simoni: *escapes through secret door*
Simoni: *is shot when trying to make a run for it anyway, dies*
Pepita: Maslawski, now I can tell you I love only you.
Maslawski: Ditto.
Epilogue scenes in quick montage: *Fritz wins at Prague, loses at Kolin, but doesn't have a melt down because he's too manly and tough for that but says he'll win again in the next one, wins Roßbach and Leuthen after dramatic speech, cut to end of 7 Year War which the narrator tells was was a few years later*
Narrator: 1763 was also the year August III. died. And Brühl. But we're still living in the echoes of Saxony's splendour and Prussia's glory.
And now for the screencaps:
Here are Fritz and Fredersdorf in front of Sanssouci
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Here they are in a room supposedly Fritz' audience room. Actually, now that I can look closer at the screen caps, I can see it's not even in the Neue Kammern, it's in the Neuer Palais, which definitely did not exist yet in early 1756 when this is supposed to take place: the great ball room. (Note the Silesian marble!)
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Fredersdorf hires a new spy, OC Max de Simoni:
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Have sex for Prussia!
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Simoni uncovered the Diplomatic Revolution. This is somewhat worrying for our Prussian duo:
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For all I make fun of this series and it's massive liberties, they did do their research. Fritz is showing snuffing repeatedly, and note the dogs in the background here:
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Now this is a rather good approximation of how Fritz' study might have looked like before it was renovated in his successor's time. This is the scene when he's duetting with hot Swiss spy Simoni.
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Since Fritz has taken all the Saxon soldiers and pressed them into his army, August III. sends a messenger asking whether he can at least have his honor guard back when he retreats to Warsaw. Fritz, somewhat preoccupied with his dog, says no.
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Now for the big one, the attempted assassination by chocolate scene somewhat later. First, leisure time chez Fritz:
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Glasow puts the fateful cup of chocolate on the desk.
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Lemme have some chocolate!
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The King's love could be deadly, is all I'm saying.
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This totally explains the Scourging of Saxony thereafter:
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Lastly, I couldn't resist at least one screen cap not featuring our lot but Brühl (in the blue coat) and August III at Königstein, having just received the news the Austrians got defeated at Lobovitz which means they're screwed:
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Keep this in mind as I give you the summary of the six episodes:
Episode 1: Countess Cosel (Part I):
August(us) the Strong: the series starts in the
tate 1690s when I'm crowned as King of Poland for the first time, but I get played by Dietrich Körner throughout, and he looks like he's somewhere in his late 50s or early 60s. I just abandoned the proud Protestant Saxon heritage of House Wettin in order to get my hands on Poland, since they accept only Catholic sovereigns. By this, you can see I have large scale ambitions. I also really like to party!
Charles of Sweden: I'm the wannabe Alexander of the Baroque, just on the throne and determined to invade and make war! Saxony is just a piece of cake for me. Watch me kick Russian ass next once I'm done here!
Swedes: rape and pillage, which is shown in a few discreet shots, also plunder a castle without raping, which is good for:
Anna Constantia von Hoym: I'm the leading lady of the first two parts, and I will not forget this, Swedish bastards.
Flemming: I'm August's scheming advisor and most important minister, and I have to tell him that our army just isn't up to battlling Charles. We have to sue for peace as long as we still have Saxony and give up on Poland for now.
August: This is humiliating, but fine, I'll do it. But I'll be back!
August: *parties in Dresden to cheer himself up, dares everyone to describe their fave mistresses*
Treasury Chancellor Hoym: I don't have one, because my wife is the most beautiful woman of the country. Way more beautiful than your current maitresse en titre. She's the most beautiful woman of the world!
selenak: You clearly haven't read Livy. Also, didn't Anna meet August when the Hoym town residence burned and she organized the fire fighting? Wasn't that dramatic enough for you, Polish novelist and German scriptwriters?August: She's invited to my next ball.
Olav von Rosen: I'm an OC who is in all the episodes. Currently I am a young man bravely escorting Anna from the recently plundered castle to Dresden despite some more marauding Swedes with evil intentions. Charles still uses us as his backyard, you know.
Anna (to Hoym): I can't believe you. Where do you think this is going?
Hoym: Look, he's my boss.
August: You're hot. I'm still King.
Anna: Prince Elector right now, and also, if you want to play Henry VIII, I'm playing Anne Boleyn. I have no intention of becoming your next mistress. If you like it, put a ring on it.
Flemming: What's that? You're jut supposed to be the next piece of fluff! Your majesty, no way!
August: Relax, I have it all under control. Look, Anna, I'm already married, and so are you. And since I'm now Catholic, divorce is just not on.
Anna: But you want me all for yourself, don't you?
August: I really really do.
Anna: I'll divorce Hoym if you give me a marriage promise in writing in which you swear that you'll marry me if you ever become a widower.
Flemming: Don't do it!
August: I never wanted a woman more. Here's your marriage pledge in writing, Anna. Only the best for you! Once you're divorced, you need a new title. How about Countess Cosel?
Anna: Thank you. Since you are now my fiancee and basically my husband, I take a wifely interest in the government of this country. Starting with the fact we're still sort of occupied by the goddam Swedes.
August: Not forever, I promises. Did I mention I have long term plans? Poland back, of course, but more than that. The current Emperor has no sons, see.
Anna: But he has a brother who'll succeed him.
August: The brother doesn't have any sons yet, either. I love gambling, and I'm betting on the fact the Habsburs will die out. My oldest kid is going to marry the current Emperor's daughter, older cousin to not yet born MT. You see where this is going, Darling?
Anna: I love a man with a plan. So, about those Swedes....
Charles: I'm off to another round with Peter the not yet Great, but I want to do some sightseeing first and visit Dresden incognito.
Anna: August, Charles is in Dresden incognito. We could totally capture him and end your humiliation.
August: This would go against the royal bro code. Sorry, no can do.
Anna: Rosen, organize the capture of Charles anyway behind August's back, it's for his own good.
Flemming: Aha, the slut is making a mistake! Your Majesty, guess what I just found out?
August: Meets up with Charles as per the royal bro code.
Rosesn: Can't capture Charles if my King is also around, sorry.
Charles: So, August, before I leave, I keep hearing about how strong you are, want to demonstrate?
August: *bends a bar of iron around Charles in the form of a horse's shoe, then throws it away, in a none too subtle demonstration of how he could have captured Charles if not for the royal bro code*
Charles: First time I am impressed by you. So long! Off to earn more glory against Peter.
Anna (to August): I don't believe you. We could have...argh! What kind of a King are you?
August: Since you insulted my manliness, I'm off to Malplaquet, the most famous pre-Fritz battle of the century, where I'll meet young FW, Grumbkow and Seckendorff off screen and have a lot of sex with other women!
Peter the about to become Great: *wins against Charles*
Charles: *retreats in depression and infamy, will not get old*
Flemming: At last, things are looking better. Now we can get Poland back, and I can surely get rid of Cosel. He's having lots of sex with other women already, time to get him an alternate mistress.
Anna: I'll leave it at one jealous scene and then reconsider since I actually missed you, offering you a compromise: other one night stands, fine, but I'm your true Queen.
August: Of course you are.
A few more happy years during which Anna is the uncrowned Queen and produces some children: *ensue*
Flemming: Grrr. Argh. But now that Lescynski guy has finally left. Poland beckons, your majesty!
Anna: Farewell, dearest. I have a bad feeling about this....
Episode 2: Countess Cosel (Part II):
August: Hi, Polish ladies. Missed me?
Flemming: At last, I've found one who captures his attention for longer than a night. Also, I'm censoring the Royal Mail so he doesn't get any of Cosel's love letters, only the ones where she's irritated by his not replying and sharp tongued!
August: You're hot.
Rival: I want to be a mistress, not a one night stand.
August: ...okay. Anna maybe could do with some competition.
Flemming: *fakes a murder attempt on the new mistress, makes it look like Anna ordered it*
Rival: I'm not going back with you to Saxony if I have to fear for my life. Banish that evil woman!
August: Um. Well. Flemming, send someone to tell Anna tactfully she should leave Dresden and go to Pillnitz for a while. After some time, when tempers have cooled down...
Flemming: *sends messenger who tells Anna that she's banished to Pillnitz, but has to leave her children behind*
Anna: No way! Rosen, let's try to meet August on the road.
Flemming: Your majesty, Countess Cosel has disobeyed a direct order.
August: Make her go to Pillnitz, I don't care how!
Anna: *is escorted forcibly to Pillnitz*
Rosen: Countess, sorry, but I think Flemming knows if you ever manage to see the King, he's screwed. He'll kill you. We should escape. I'll organize it.
Anna: Thanks, loyal knight.
Escape: *happens, but with interruptions; Anna and the kids are already on the escape boat when she sees there are fireworks in Dresden (literal ones) and decides she needs to try one last time*
August: *sees Anna wearing a masque, approaches her* You're hot. How come I haven't seen you before?
Anna: Because you're a complete cad, you bastard. I've had it now with you. Bye!
Escape: *continues, now with added obstacle of furious August sending soldiers after them, but loyal Rosen manages to smuggle them out of Dresden anyway*
Anna, Rosen and the kids: *arrive in Berlin*
Flemming: Your Majesty, we have a problem. Your youngest kid by Cosel is a boy. You're a widower now. As long as she has that marriage promise in writing, she could make a case that she is in fact your wife, and thus he another legitimate son. Your oldest son will never become King of Poland, let along Emperor, if that question mark hangs over him. Do it for the Imperial future, your majesty! We need to get that marriage pledge, and the Countess Cosel to go with it. It's way too dangerous to let her hang out in neighbouring Prussia.
August: ....I see your point and am tearing out the last of my love of my heart. We need to get FW to return Anna to us. How? Let's call my secretary.
Young Page Brühl: I am now entering the narrative played as a late teen by future director Leander Hausmann. The actor who'll play me from the next episode onwards is Leander's dad.
Young Brühl: August's secretary, have some more wine, it's not like the King is going to need you in the next five minutes.
Secretary: *passes out drunk*
Brühl: Sorry, your majesty, your secretary is passed out, but maybe I can help?
August: Not unless you can write a letter making FW return Anna to me.
Brühl: Not a problem. *writes* Dear FW, if you send my ex back I'm returning some tall deserters to you. Love, August. P.S. Also you don't want people to think your're harboring sluts in Berlin, do you?
August and Flemming: *are impressed*
August: That's one promising young man.
FW: Tall deserters, you say? *heart eyes* Arrest the slut and deliver her to August!
Anna: *arrives in Stolpen as a prisoner*
Soldier in the Stolpen garnison: *falls in love with Anna*
Rosen: This has potential. Don't give up, Countess!
Anna: I never do.
Flemming: *gets his hands on the marriage pledge by blackmailing the Jewish banker Rosen has left it withÜ
FW: *has his second scene of the episode, at an event which is a mix of his and Fritz' trip to Dresden and the Zeithain camp*
Orzelska (silent role): *dances suggestively like Salome*
selenak: Why is she blonde? All the Orzelska's I've seen so far were brunettes.Fritz (played by very much not a teenager actor): *looks*
Fritz: Leutnant Keith, we must escape!
Leutnant Keith: I am apparently a mix of Keith the page, Peter Keith and Katte, and say this escape thing might be difficult:
Fritz: Gonna do it, though.
FW: *Catches him, drags him in front of everyone and abuses him*
Flemming (to August): Okay, the Prussian King has calmed down now and is ready to leave. But I have a bad feeling that the kid is never going to get over the fact this happened in front of lots of Saxons.
*exit Prussians from the tale for the next few episodes*
Anna: *changes clothes with the young soldier in love with her, escapes the castle, is met by loyal Rosen outside*
Young Soldier: *leaves the castle because can't bear to be without Anna, which naturally alerts the guards to the fact they just saw him leave the castle TWICE*
Anna: *after some action scene horseriding, is recaptured*
Anna: This is just not the episode for succesful escapes.
*Some time later*
August: I want to try out those new canons FW sold me. The Stolpen area has some tough rocks to shoot at.
Anna: He's totally using that as an excuse to visit me, I just know it.
August: shoots at rocks, leaves without visiting.
Anna:... I guess that's it for me. You shall not see me on screen again, audience, though I live for many decades more and will meet Heinrich in my old age.
Episode 3: Brühl (Part I)
Brühl (now played by a man in his 40s): The last episode ended in 1730, and now it's 1733, since August has just died in Warsaw. I still look 24 years older. Just go with it. I am the J.R. Ewing of the Rokoko age, your main character for the next two eps, and now I have to bring the news of August's demise to his son, future August III., who is in Dresden.
Sulkowski: I started out as a page as well but am future August III.'s bff. Clearly, that means I get to rule once my bud is King, because he likes me best. I have nothing to fear from Brühl, who can do the financial stuff. I'm a military man! Hey Brühl! Back from Warsaw?
Brühl: Sadly, our glorious King has died.
Sulkowski: OMG we have to tell my buddy!
Brühl: Clearly he shouldn't get such sad news without emotional support. How about getting his wife and his confessor so they can break it to him gently? Also, I must get out of these travel cloths and wear something appropriate for such news, see you later with the other two.
Sulkowski: That's actually a good idea. Okay, see ya!
Brühl: *gets a page* Tell young(er) August you've seen me, but not that I sent you.
Brühl: *is summoned by August the soon III while Sulkowski is still busy tracking down the wife and the confessor*
Brühl: *tells August the soon III. the news, is there for him*
Wife, Confessor, Sulkowski: Arrive too late.
Sulkowski, when the other two take over: But I thought we were to tell him together?
Brühl: Sorry, I was summoned, I didn't even have time to change. But I swear I have no ambitions. You are the only one for PM, clearly!
August the soon III: So you're going to be my PM, Suko, but you, Brühl, you're going to be my second most important minister.
Brühl: If I must.
Brühl: *has sex with the Countess Moscynska, daughter of August the Strong and Anna Countess Cosel*
Brühl: *during sex*: Your father was the coolest, I am actually sorry that he's dead, and I'm so into you not just because you're hot but because you're his daughter and that of the one and only Cosel*
Brühl: *after sex*: So did I mention that your Dad is who I want to be?
Moscynska: You're lucky we're into kink in this family. Well, you can't be him, but you could totally be the power behind the throne.
Brüh: That'll do.
Watzdorf: I'm an idealistic enlightened thinker, writing pamphlets against the corruption at court, especially as practised by the two ex pages Sukowski and Brühl.
selenak: *googling him later: You're nothing of the sort and already have several rape suits following you at this point.)Franziska: I'm a young naive, totally in love with you.
Tweedledum and Tweedledee: We're two civil servants, one of us going to become Sukowski's minion, one Brühl's. We sort of deliver the economic commentary on events from now on.
Maria Josepha: I'm August the now III's wife, Mt's cousin and thus a proud Habsburg and very Catholic.
Guarini: I'm the confessor from earlier, and the evil priest of the remaining episodes. I scheme.
Sulkowski: So, I have plans for Saxony. The Austrians are really going downhill in this decades. Isn't Silesia a nice province next door? We should totally invade it!
Maria Josepha: What?
Guarini: And that's why we should back the other one.
Maria Josepha: But is that Brühl more reliable? Isn't he a Protestant?
Guarini: We should marry him to a Catholic lady. Doesn't your Bohemian lady-in-waiting here have a daughter named Franziska?
Franziska: But I love Watzdorf! Brühl, I know you're into Mosczynska, can't you let me be with my true love?
Brühl: Not if I want to continue my career, darling. Not giving up Moscynska, though. I'm afraid our engagement is on.
selenak: Hang on... Franziska? Your future wife is called Marianne! Also she did not have a thing with Watzdorf. *googles* Maria Anna Franziska, okay, fair enough though her biography says she used "Marianne".Watzdorf: *is busy writing more pamphlets against Sulkowski and Brühl*
Sulkowski: I'm punishing the printer.
Brühl: Pff. I'm buying the printer and bribing him by making him the official court printer. What's that you say, minion, my fiancee and Watzdorf? Well well well. Do tell Sulkowski's minion in strict confidence Watzdorf is about to launch an exposé on Sukowski's Silesia plans!
Sulkowski: *arrests Watzdorf, puts him into Königstein*
Franziska: Fine, I'll marry you, if you promise to help me to set my beloved free and avenge myself on that bastard Sukowski.
Brühl: Naturally.
Episode 4: Brühl (II):
Sulkowski: So, about Silesia. I think that's absolutely brilliant plan of mine, and history will prove me right, you'll see.
Brühl: Maybe we should try to get it politically instead? Seeing as our army isn't anywhere near as large as the Austrian one?
Sulkowski: You're not a military man, Brühl, you don't understand. Here are my secret plans to explain it, though, while I'm off to fight for the Habsburg Emperor against the Turks. We're still subjects to the Emperor, after all, so I can't deny the request.
Brühl: *makes copy of the secret plans, and gives them to the Austrian envoy*
Vienna: WTF?
Maria Josepha, Guarini, Brühl, all in their respective ways to August III: Sulkowski got you in a hell of a lot of trouble with the Emperor with these Silesia plans. He needs to go.
August III: I'm just into art and building palaces, can't we all be nice together?
Everyone else: No!
Meanwhile, on the front:
Sulkowski: Hello there. You seem a trustworthy veteran. Let's be friends.
Rosen: By all means. You should be careful.
Sulkowski: Eh, the King loves me. I'll always stay on top!
Rosen: I've heard that before. Countess Cosel is still at Stolpen.
Sulkowski: I'll make August release her when I get back, he's completely unlike his Dad.
Sulkowski: *gets a letter that he's dismissed as PM*
Sulkowski: WTF? *rides home, manages to see August III despite Brühl's precautions*
August III: I just want peace and love, can't it stay as it was?
Everyone else: NO.
Franziska: So, husband, if I seduce August III who unlike his father has been a loyal husband so far and make him banish Sukowski, will you then see to it that my beloved Watzdorf is released from Königstein?
Brühl: Naturally.
Brühl: *tells minion that he wants Watzdorf to be freed, but phrases it in a way that makes it very clear what really should happen*
Minion: *tells sub minion to do go to Königstein*
Subminion: I don't think this will end well for me, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
Other civil servant minion: Sulkowski, the only thing that can save you now is if we get the dirt on Brühl. Maybe that Watzdorf who used to write the pamphlets knows me? I'm off to Königstein to find out.
Watzdorf: *is thrown of the walls of Königstein as a free dead body*
Brühl: Sulkowski did that.
Franziska: I'm not THAT naive. Also I'm going to have sex with every handsome young guy who comes my way from this point onwards in revenge on you, but not with you, you bastard.
selenak: I suppose the eleven children you two had together don't exist in this miniseries. Also you two wrote love letters to each other twenty years post marriage, but okay, based on a 19th century novel written at point when official history was completely anti Brühl.)Brühl: That's okay, dearest, Moscynska and I are still an item, anyway.
August III: Brühl, you're now my only minister and bff and everything.
Brühl: Yay!
Episode 5: From the time of the 7 Years War (I):
Brühl: So, I've been thinking. Silesia got unfortunately nabbed by Fritz of Prussia, but Saxony can still end up as a superpower by diplomacy, since he's been pissing off everyone else in the last decade. I' have this brilliant plan of creating
an alliance between France and Austria, with Russia and Sweden joining in. And Saxony right in the middle.
Moscynska: Wow. How come you're letting this Kaunitz guy take all the credit?
Brühl: I'm modest like that.
*change of location to.... Sanssouci*
Fritz (now played by an actor who got famous for this part, Arno Wyzniewski): Fredersdorf (first word of dialogue he has), let's talk exposition and establish that I'm the toughest, meanest, magnificent bastard of the era. Brühl is officially outclassed.
Fredersdorf (played by actor somewhat smaller than Wyzniweski, Joachim Tomaschewsky): No question about it, but since I'm not just your treasurer but also your spy master, I'd still like to know what he's up to.
Italian greyhounds: *are always around Fritz; this is a plot point*
Max de Simoni: I'm one of the two new OCs, a handsome young Swiss adventurer who wants to serve Fritz.
Fredersdorf: You can do that in Dresden as our spy. Countess Brühl is still into young guys lilke you. Seduce her and find out what Brühl is up to.
Simoni: You want me to have sex for Prussia?
Fredersdorf: Absolutely.
Simoni: I never thought serving the Hohenzollern could be such fun.
Simoni: *has sex with Franziska who gets him a job as one of Brühl's undersecretaries*
Pepita von Nostiz: I'm the new naive, in love with a Prussian soldier, who leaves his regiment for a night of love with me. Dresden is just three hours away on horseback, after all.
Prussian soldier: *gets shouted at by his superior officer, draws his sword, realises that he's done, is arrested*
Fritz: Anyone who draws on his superior officer needs to get executed for the sake of discipline in my army.
Fredersdorf: ...But he's a promising young guy otherwise, so maybe some mercy?
Fritz: No. Discipline! Also I don't like deserters.
Pepita: I hate the King of Prussia and swear revenge forever and ever.
Xaver Maslowski: I'm the other new OC, in love with Pepita, tormented by the fact Simoni, who, lilke me, is an undersecretary at Brühl's, flirts with her as well and no one can resist him.
Simoni: *actually gets his hands on the secret documents proving the alliance against Prussia* RED ALERT RED ALERT.
Fritz: ....okay, I'll admit to being just a bit surprised. Clearly, action is called for. Fredersdorf, time to invade again, I've been getting rusty! We're off to Saxony.
Minion: Um. The Prussian army is currently invading our country.
Brühl: Your majesty, while that is a admittedly a bit worrying, it's only a temporary set back. No way Fritz can win against the armies of our allies.
Allies: armies we're going to send next year.
Saxon commander: No way our army can hold off the Prussians until then.
Brühl: ... I think you and I should retreat to Königstein, your majesty.
Episode 6: From the time of the 7 Years War (II):
Fritz: *still in Sanssouci* Fredersdorf, I still need intel on Brühl. Even from Königstein.
Fredersdorf: Will see to it, but why are we still in Sanssouci when it's now autumn of 1756 and we've taken most of Saxony except Pirna and Königstein?
Fritz: Because the producers got permission to film here, and by God, they're going to film here. So every time I'm not explicitly in a battle, I hop back to Sanssouci. It's just a few hours!
Pepita, Maria Josepha, Franziska and Guarini: *conspire in the Dresden palace where the Queen still lives, even under Prussian occupation*
Pepita: I had this brilliant idea of how we can save Saxony from Fritz. We kidnap him, then use him as leverage.
Maria Josepha: Sounds like a plan to me. Countess Brühl, write to your husband to tell him that.
Franziska: Will do, and Pepita, send me your hot Swiss admirer whom I'm still banging as well, we'll use him as a courier.
Simoni: rides to Sanssouci (seriously, the number of times they find an excuse to show that palace is amazing), reports to Fritz about a secret plan, but doesn't actually now WHICH scheme because Franziska hasn't told him what's in the letter and the letter was written in chiffre*
Fritz: You seem competent, and I like your looks. Are you by any chance musical?
Simoni: I play the cembalo.
Fritz and Simoni: *play a flute/cembalo duet*
Simoni: shows up in Königstein
Brühl in Königstein: *is slowly getting stir crazy and suspects a mole, but suspects poor innocent Waslawski, not Simoni, who is just that irresistible to everyone*
Guarini in Dresden: As an evil priest, I'm not putting my trust into this kidnapping scheme. We need a fallback scheme. Here's a potion in a black bottle. To be used if the kidnapping doesn't work out. Got that, Glasow?
Glasow: *is a middle aged overweight man* And I get absolution?
Guarini: That's what evil priests spreading the opiate of the masses are for.
Maslawski (not knowing any of this): Pepita, to prove my love for you, I'll be the one to kidnap Fritz, personally.
Maslawski: *spies on Fritz to get a sense of his schedule, thus seeing Simoni depart from the Prussians*
Maslawski: tells this to Pepita
Simoni: *back in Dresden to figure out what the secret plan is*
Simoni: Hi, Franziska. Let's have sex, I've missed you.
Franziska. So I hear you've been hanging out with the Prussians? That's what little Pepita claims anyway.
Simoni: Slander! Okay...I sort of spent some time in Berlin, but I'm Swiss, you know, which means neutral, and can I help it Fritz wanted to play a duet with me?
Franziska: I empathize. You've got a hot bod, you're smart, and they say he doesn't like women.
Simoni: Countess! *wink, nudge* You're the hottest, though.
selenak: Wow. This is the first time this miniseries seem to as much as hint at the existence of non-straight orientation in anyone.Pepita's grandmother: *Is a Fritz fan, has heard Pepita's plotting and sends an anonymous (as not to incriminate her granddaughter) warning letter to Fritz that he's about to be kidnapped*
Fritz: *dictates instructions - in Sanssouci - that if he's shot, the invasion should proceed anyway, and if he's kidnapped, any instructions from him thereafter are to be ignored, then heads off to Bohemia, because*
Austrians: have managed to get an army together to fight Fritz at Lobowitz
Fritz: *wins*
Brühl and August: That's it, alas. We're off to Warsaw.
Glasow: *puts Guarini's poison in Fritz' chocolate cup* (at Sanssouci, Fritz came back immediately after the battle)
Fritz: *sits reading with an Italian greyhound in his lap, tells Glasow to put the chololate next to him*
Glasow: *does so, leaves*
Fritz: *smiles lovingly at dog, lets it drink the chocolate*
Italian Greyhound not named out loud*: *dies*
Fritz: REVENGE!
Glasow: *is tortured, incriminates all the conspirators, not just Guarini, including Simoni (because he's seen him with Franziska a lot)
Fritz: Simoni what? Okay, he is to be hanged, just like Glasow.
Glasow: *is hanged*
selenak: But he wasn't executed! ... Never mind.Prussian soldiers: Search chez Franziska Brühl for Simoni (and telling her she'd to leave for Warsaw to join her husband and the King there)
Simoni: *escapes through secret door*
Simoni: *is shot when trying to make a run for it anyway, dies*
Pepita: Maslawski, now I can tell you I love only you.
Maslawski: Ditto.
Epilogue scenes in quick montage: *Fritz wins at Prague, loses at Kolin, but doesn't have a melt down because he's too manly and tough for that but says he'll win again in the next one, wins Roßbach and Leuthen after dramatic speech, cut to end of 7 Year War which the narrator tells was was a few years later*
Narrator: 1763 was also the year August III. died. And Brühl. But we're still living in the echoes of Saxony's splendour and Prussia's glory.
And now for the screencaps:
Here are Fritz and Fredersdorf in front of Sanssouci
Here they are in a room supposedly Fritz' audience room. Actually, now that I can look closer at the screen caps, I can see it's not even in the Neue Kammern, it's in the Neuer Palais, which definitely did not exist yet in early 1756 when this is supposed to take place: the great ball room. (Note the Silesian marble!)
Fredersdorf hires a new spy, OC Max de Simoni:
Have sex for Prussia!
Simoni uncovered the Diplomatic Revolution. This is somewhat worrying for our Prussian duo:
For all I make fun of this series and it's massive liberties, they did do their research. Fritz is showing snuffing repeatedly, and note the dogs in the background here:
Now this is a rather good approximation of how Fritz' study might have looked like before it was renovated in his successor's time. This is the scene when he's duetting with hot Swiss spy Simoni.
Since Fritz has taken all the Saxon soldiers and pressed them into his army, August III. sends a messenger asking whether he can at least have his honor guard back when he retreats to Warsaw. Fritz, somewhat preoccupied with his dog, says no.
Now for the big one, the attempted assassination by chocolate scene somewhat later. First, leisure time chez Fritz:
Glasow puts the fateful cup of chocolate on the desk.
Lemme have some chocolate!
The King's love could be deadly, is all I'm saying.
This totally explains the Scourging of Saxony thereafter:
Lastly, I couldn't resist at least one screen cap not featuring our lot but Brühl (in the blue coat) and August III at Königstein, having just received the news the Austrians got defeated at Lobovitz which means they're screwed:
